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How to Destroy an Annoying McDonalds Toy

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Wednesday, July 30 2008 00:00 Written by Joeprah

McDonaldsThe number one distributor of toys in the world is McDonalds and nearly all of these toys I would classify as being annoying. They are either poorly constructed or they serve little to no purpose or most notably they make annoying sounds. Recently, our family has collected a few McDonald’s toys both to our shame and our children’s delight. Most of these toys are simply thrown away when the kids aren’t looking, because let’s face it—they’re trash to begin with. However,

some toys remain hidden in the depths of our minivan and only announce their presence during bumps we hit it the road. Enter Kung Fu Panda. Kung Fu Panda was a pretty cool movie, humor, Jack Black, kung fu…what’s not to like? The McDonald’s toys apparently. The panda made a karate chop sound effect noise and a Jack Black sounding “Hi-Yah!” We had a pair of these creatures somewhere imbedded in our minivan.  The only way to identify that they actually existed at all was the presence of the occassional sound effect. 

This past weekend we made a trip to Cape May and on our way home the duo of toys sounded off around 200,000 times much to my dismay.  Around karate chop sound ninety-five-thousand, I realized that I now hated Jack Black and I also hated karate chop sound effects (which I proudly make on my own from time to time)—oh, and I was most likely driven clinically insane (albeit temporarily) from the assault of cheaply manufactured McDonalds toys noises. The insanity that had claimed a section of my brain could only be exercised if I faced my foes and vanquished them in a field of battle. If you don't know this, there is a cleansing ritual that any parent can utilize to release themself from the hold of McDonald's toy induced insanity--you need to obliterate the toy in question.  Feel free to watch the following instructional video:

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 Do you hate McDonald's toys as much as I do?  The American Idol toys were also maddening for us.  Any toys throw you over the edge?

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written by Momo Fali, July 28, 2008
That looked like a lot of fun! We had that same toy on a recent trip and it mysteriously got tossed into the trash. I have no idea how that happened.
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written by peteej, July 28, 2008
That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You just did what I've been wanting to do for years. Thank you. BTW, my kids loved it right up to the part where I said, "lets do it to yours!"
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written by rachel, July 29, 2008
Joe, you are too much! That was brilliant :-)
What in heavens name is 'Saftey' ? :-) Safety First, perhaps?
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written by James, July 29, 2008
That was awesome dude! So, tell the truth: How many trips to McDonalds did you take to buy extra toys for the filming do-overs? BTW, those cute girls stole the show. Always happens that way.
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written by Mrs. Tantrum, July 29, 2008
Joe, the truth is that I buy those stupid toys for him because he will throw a shit fit if I don't. Sometimes he refuses to have anything to do with them at all. Either way I can't win. So you know what I do when he is in school? I box them up and I set those fuckers on fire! Yep, I like to burn my money and those annoying toys all at once. Cheaper than therapy and he never knows what happened. Heck after a day he forgets the stupid toy anyway.
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written by Bunchy, July 29, 2008
omg...those American Idol toys were manufactured by Satan himself. Those disappeared VERY quickly in this house...the kids went to bed one night and when they woke up the next morning, the "toy fairy" had been and gone. I guess the right thing to do would maybe be not eat at McDonald's so much, but whatever...
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written by jasonrothlv, July 29, 2008
That was cool! Are explosives out of the question for next time? Just wondering.

We don't have any McDonalds or similar toys in the house. We've never taken Z-Dub to a fast food restaurant so he hasn't been introduced to cheap, mass-produced, Chinese-made kiddie meal toys. We just plain avoid the annoying toys.
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written by 3stairs, July 29, 2008
Hilariously educational, as always!
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written by jt12blk, July 29, 2008
As I watched, I thought of all the different ways I could destroy the McDonald's toys we have hanging around. Particularly those American Idol toys, which as someone said, are the most annoying. I'm thinking heat gun, cinder block, blowtorch, or a Xylol bath. Good job getting the kids in on it!
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written by BossSanders, July 29, 2008
Hey Joeps, Did you really think McD's toys WOULD be worthwhile? lol. BTW, hubs wants to know what your wife does...(for a living).
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written by prin, August 02, 2008
Shoulda covered the second one's eyes while you were doing the first so he wouldn't know what's coming and wouldn't be so elusive... smilies/cheesy.gif
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written by Jared, August 10, 2008
You are a trip, Joe! Another classic Joeprah video... :grin
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written by mark, August 10, 2008
Someday you will really be mad....these Micky D toys will be worth lots of $$$$, but what will be even more valuable will be mint condition toys still in the plastic and the boxes they come in. Basically the Happy Meal without the food.
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written by busydad, August 15, 2008
Way to get medieval on their ass! That second one (slippery bugger) almost scored with a crotch lunge though. Glad you were able to recover and deal the blow of death.
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written by stupidthingsaysimregistered, November 24, 2008
I actually threatened to pull over the other night and throw "Gloria" (Madagascar 2) out the window. But I couldn't...because we couldn't FIND her!!! and with every little bump in the road I heard, "You know that's right!"
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written by AWESOMEST12345LLLL, May 19, 2009
THAT WAS HECKA AWESOME !!!! i MIGHT TRY THAT ONE DAY....smilies/grin.gif

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