Here’s the scenario, you are a parent trying to get your kids out the door.  You are rushing around because the kids aren’t cooperating.  You get them ready and start collecting yourself.  Finally, all the pieces of the puzzle are in place and you’re about to walk out the door.  Then you realize one of your kids isn’t there.  You call them a second time and then a third and as you are about to lose it they finally appear.  This laggy child appears (usually the youngest), but in the two seconds it took you to get your coat on and find the keys this child has undone your best laid plans.  They have appeared and have either completely disrobed, have changed into pajamas or they have taken off their socks and shoes and are wearing either a dress-up or part of a Halloween costume. 

*Joeprah Parenting Tip: In these situations it is really easy to flip out and flipping out is ‘OK’ but I would actually recommend laughter.*

This random act of sabotage by your child has just cost you valuable time.  You will now be late for wherever you are going.  You have officially been initiated into a sad club, a club I would like to call the Late by Association Club (L.A.C.). 

Late by Association:  This phrase represents a group of parents who, after having kids, have found it difficult to arrive on time to many events because they are constantly being sabotaged by their own children.  Acts of sabotage include

You know what’s really, really creepy?  When you are married and someone hits on you.  I can’t remember the last time this happened to me, but it is just weird.  I mean, I am a hotty (see yeah right), so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised when another woman besides my extremely attractive wife thinks I am the bees knees, but it is just weird.  I don’t get hit on a lot, mostly because I very open about how much I love my wife, I don’t go to bars, and I choose not to hang around crazy people.  Also, I am not a flirt (except with my wife—cause that’s hot).  I really don’t agree with the premise of flirting when you are married anyways, but that’s for another day.  I am still trying to absorb what just happened because it was that strange.  Here’s the low down.

The Low Down

I was checking out of the grocery store and I was making small talk about kids with the check out lady.  I used my club card in order to get like $1.17 off of a $130 bill because I am super frugal and the check lady said something very, very forward and odd.  She stopped me as I was about to hand her the signed receipt and she pointed to my wedding band and said, “Are you attached to that?”  I was so taken aback, I replied, “Yeah, that’s my wife.”  What I really wanted to say was “WTF lady?  I am here to buy groceries for my family not cruise the single mom scene.  Oh, and girlfriend, don’t ever point at my wedding band again (snap snap!!)!”

Disturbing or hilarious?  You Decide.

I vote both.

Children, an identified subgroup of humans, are impossibly relentless mammals. Part of what defines them as children is their carefree outlook on the world and this is perhaps the main reason why we as parents have come up with the phrase “We’ll see.” “We’ll see” both ensures our invulnerability as parents and acts as a tool we can turn to as parents when we don’t feel like parenting quite as actively.  Putting it succinctly, "We'll see" is a deflective tool used by parents to ignore, delay, or answer questions in a strategic manner.  The following article is a “How to” on implementing “We’ll see” in our daily interactions with our children.