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Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part VII | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Friday June 27, 2008
Editor's rating No rating
Average user rating 8/10   (2 votes)
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Continued from:

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part I

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part II 

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part III 

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part IV

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part V

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part VI

 

Bella had turned two years old in April, so I was safely still knee deep in diapers.  The nurses marveled at how I changed our newborn daughter’s diapers.  Jodi had some mending to do after the delivery, so I was pretty much a full-time father to two girls, from the moment Mady was born.  Jodi was able to help with the girls about 4 or 5 days after delivery but she really wasn’t at 100% until about a month after Mady was born.  What did that mean?  Well, for starters, it was assumed that I needed help.

I remember my mother-in-law, although she meant well, trying to make my life easier.  When a mother-in-law tries to make life easier it almost always mean they make things worse.  Looking back on the situation it definitely seems comical, but when a mother-in-law makes you roughly 3 gallons of spaghetti soup that was supposed to be spaghetti and meat balls you just wonder—why? 

Here’s the scenario, about a couple days after we had come home from the hospital I got a phone call from my MIL saying she wanted to come over and make us dinner.  It was less of a suggestion and more of a statement, so with little choice I agreed.  I really had no idea what type of tempest I was in for and I was still struggling with why it was assumed that I needed this kind of help.  Shortly after she arrived she began to turn our little kitchen into symphony of sounds and smells.  I would like to tell you that it smelled inviting, I would like to tell you that it sounded like progress—sadly I can do neither.  More quickly than I would have imagined, it was announced that the dinner was completed.  Our family was now the proud owners of an ungodly amount of noodles in what appeared to be red water housed in perhaps the largest pot I had ever seen.  The amount of noodles was simply staggering.  I am guessing I had enough cooked noodles in that pot to rival any of the Chinese restaurants in the area.

It truly was a moral dilemma at this point.  When someone is thoughtful enough to go out of their way to try and help you, you can only thank them no matter what the end result is.  I kept telling myself, as I regarded the lifeless noodles in the tomato water, “say ‘Thank you,’” and I did. 

But still—why was all of this noodle defacing necessary?  What was going to happen?  Because we had another baby would we just forget to make dinner—for a month?  I even had a reputation of being a good cook.   Let’s just theorize that I couldn’t cook one night, would I now, all of sudden, forget how to pick up a phone and call a pizza place?  During my tenure with Bella as a stay at home dad I prided myself on not only performing up to expectations but exceeding them.  So, when people came to my aid without asking if or in what department I needed help I became annoyed.  There wasn’t a, “I am coming over to lend a hand, what can I do?”  It was more of a, “I think you guys need twenty pounds worth of spaghetti soup—here you go.”  Like a David Lynch film it was strange and left much up to interpretation. 

The aftermath of this meal was amazing.  There were big pots, little pots, dishes, cutlery, pans, utensils and more pots.   What the meal lacked for in taste and appeal it made up for in chaos and mayhem.  The dishes, to outward appearances, lay in the strainer drying and clean.  It was only upon close examination, after the assailant had left, that it became obvious that the clean dishes were all simply forgeries of their former unsoiled selves.  Chunks of sauce and noodles could be found everywhere.  I had a kitchen full of dirty dishes, a large pot of what some would call food and a family to look after.  As quick as my mother-in-law came to lend a helping hand was as quickly as she disappeared into the noodleless night.   I know she meant well and I know that it was a gesture of kindness only intended to make life easier for us, but it ended up only giving me more work to do. 

Stay Tuned for the Next Installment

 

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Users' Comments (12) RSS feed comment
Posted by jasonrothlv, on Friday June 27, 2008 , , Registered
Does she (or her family members) read this :( . Let's hope not. Even though I have similar stories to be told, but I can tell them because word gets around and I feel the wrath of angry in-laws.
 
» Reply to this comment...

Posted by Matt, on Friday June 27, 2008 , , Guest
AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH! You hit a nerve on this one. It has taken me 10 years of marriage to understand that I can never. never. win. I just smile, sit down, and eat noodles.
 
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Posted by Jen, on Friday June 27, 2008 , , Guest
Oh, spaghetti soup. My MIL came over and made the EXACT SAME THING after my dughter was born. I was pissed off because a) I'm acutally a really good cook b) spaghetti, even when done properly is really not that hard to do c) she left a huge mess. She also made a "beef roast" that I very nearly chipped a tooth on. Worst of all, I can't even bitch about this on my blog because my MIL reads it!
 
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Posted by Cynt, on Friday June 27, 2008 , , Guest
:grin haha, she probably will read it, and that's why you've got "she meant well" in there like six times. You're awesome for posting this, there's a few things I'd like to post on the internets about MY mil.
 
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Posted by Russ, on Friday June 27, 2008 , , Registered
Have you visited my out-laws?  
 
My MIL made black bean soup (my wife's family is Catholic and it was Lent), that I would, charitably, describe the looks and texture of as cow pie. It was edible, just barely.
 
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Posted by jt12blk, on Friday June 27, 2008 , , Registered
You were, in a very real sense, drowning in kindness. Were the noodles Al Dente, at least?
 
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7/10
Posted by weaselmomma, on Friday June 27, 2008 , , Registered
You are either a very brave man or your MIL doesn't have internet access. I love the post and have similar MIL stories. But I am too chicken to post any of them for fear that my MIL might actually show support by reading my blog from time to time. You the Man, Joe. 8)
 
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Posted by badmom, on Saturday June 28, 2008 , , Registered
"Like a David Lynch film" - perfect. I now know exactly what you're saying and I'm simultaneously terrified & bored. 
 
I always feel like I need to apologize for having a fantastic mother-in-law. I got lucky.
 
» Reply to this comment...

Posted by James Austin, on Saturday June 28, 2008 , , Guest
I admire you for actually saying this. I am way to polite to mention such things. People who mean well are not always that much of a help.
 
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Posted by Mom, on Saturday June 28, 2008 , , Registered
First really dumb thing you put on your site, Joe. :eek If I were you, I'd delete it before your sweet little MIL reads it.
 
» Reply to this comment...

9/10
Posted by Vickie88, on Wednesday July 16, 2008 , , Registered
I think that it's absolutely fabulous that you can voice your opinions without being worried about your MIL reading it, whether she does or not, you frequently said that she did it out of the kindness of her heart. which is all that really matters and im sure she knows it!
 
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Posted by Sadia, on Friday July 25, 2008 , , Guest
I'm sorry. That's *my* mother. She always wants to stay for a month, and I'm always afraid that within that time frame, I will kill her or myself. When my twins were newborns, she insisted on cooking us a meal. This meant that I had to hole up in my bedroom with the babies because Mum wouldn't hear of the girls being exposed to spices. It then took a month to destink my house, and a full day to get the kitchen back to normal. 
 
My mother-in-law, on the other hand, is perfect. She helps in a very real way, but always reminds us to let her know if she's stepping on our toes.
 
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