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Blog The Blog Parenting Issues How Toddlers Get Around | How Toddlers Get Around | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
Kids never cease to amaze me. I have been thinking about how kids get around a lot lately. I mean, I thought about it. As I watch my two year old everyday, I realize that she runs from place to place constantly. She climbs down her chair after eating breakfast and runs a full sprint into the family room to play or draw or whatever. Then, later, she will put down the crayon or toy or what-have-you and sprint a reckless-kid-almost-falling forward-sprint into the living room to harass our cat until he can't take it anymore and runs off. Next thing I notice is her running (again) towards the family room. She is always, always running. Actually, she isn't always running. There are times when she hops. Let's say she drops a toy in the middle of the floor and it rests in the direct line between her and her next destination. What choice does a world class toddler sprinter have in this situation? Hop of course. I am convinced that she really only knows how to move in a couple ways: the sprint, the hop, the flip, the climb and the mosey. The Sprint: This mode of transportation is used in 80% of all toddler travel. The sprint is used when a toddler wants to go anywhere and there isn't a slight step or incline or slight drop or object in front of them. The sprint is a toddler's loudest form of transportation except for the fall. A toddler running is the decibel equivalent of dropping a large book with each footfall. A toddler falling is the decibel equivalent of dropping two large books and usually is followed by a whiny sound. The sprint is useful in tiring out toddlers since they do not even realize that they are burning calories or what calories are or that you want them tired and that is why they are on the treadmill. The Hop: The hop is a utilitarian form of transport that toddlers use when they need to circumnavigate, dodge, and or evade rough terrain. Rough terrain includes: the last step in a stair case, small toys, pillows, leaves, nothing, curbs, books, and healthy food. The hop is an awkward form of transport and leads to many falls and is used only around 4% of the time. The Flip: Once a toddler understands how to flip (a somersault) they will use this form of transport whenever they are around family or friends whom they would like to impress. Hopping and Sprinting are also impressive forms of transport, but flipping is preferred when a toddler recognizes they need to break off something special or show someone their A-game. Flipping is also the essence of creative movement for any self-respecting toddler. If a toddler hears music that they enjoy they will inevitably flip several times to show their approval. A flipping toddler is a toddler that thinks they are better than everyone else. Flipping is very rare and only happens 3% of the time. "flipping is preferred when a toddler recognizes they need to break off something special..." The Mosey: The mosey is both a form of transport and a display of civil disobedience. Toddlers can determine key moments when the sprint is needed by their parental unit and use that moment to show their utter disdain for the lack of chewy snacks or doughnuts or doughnut shaped chewy snacks in their daily fare. Toddlers will mosey only when it is not desirable. Although this form of transport is uncommon it is directly proportional to the amount of times that you anger your toddler and currently I am at about 13% of the time. The Climb: The Climb is an extreme form of toddler travel. Toddlers use the climb to A) get attention, or B) hurt themselves. If a toddler recognizes that their parent is socializing with another parent for a period of time deemed unacceptable to the toddler (5-10 seconds) they will without second thought climb the most dangerous apparatus they can find. Toddlers also love to hurt themselves. The most fool proof way to accomplish this is by climbing something innocuous and letting go. The end result is always a boo-boo worthy of showing every family or friend for at least 2 days. Items toddlers climb contain but are not limited to: siblings, chairs, animals, parents, toys, tables, stairs, toy chests, toilets and anything that will collapse under small amounts of pressure and weight. While climbing is common place the statistics are still being compiled to find its exact prevalence. The range (within 2%) is thought to be between 4-6% of the time. Toddlers Gifts: There are other ways in which toddlers get around, or should I say fail at getting around, which are to be included in any list makers list. The fall is always funny. Toddlers always fall in ways that are ridiculous and look way worse than they actually are. Most toddler falls happen like this: Egocentric toddler doesn't examine surroundings and walks into obstacle and falls down onto obstacle and begins to cry (see not hurt at all). Also, most falls happen within minutes before or after nap time. The abrupt stop is a way in which toddlers are halted in their tracks from a sprint. The abrupt stop, like the fall, is always funny and happens like this: Toddler, who is busily looking at what they are carrying or a sound they heard or something other than where they are going, runs head first into a wall or some other thing that stands still when ran into. This also does not hurt (a lot) and is to be admired for its humorous attributes. Toddlers fall or come to an abrubt stop solely for our entertainment (key) and that is braggable. "Toddlers fall or come to an abrubt stop solely for our entertainment (key) and that is braggable." So there you have it. That is how toddlers get from point A to point B. See if you can spot which way your toddler is moving from the comprehensive list I provided. All You Gots to Do is Click            
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