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Professor M&M? | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Monday March 10, 2008
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I wouldn't say I am an expert, I may think it, but I would never say it aloud, but in my years of educating little babies into full grown toddlers I have found some educational windfalls in the strangest places.  Educating your children is, of course, a continual journey down life's river.  Some periods in a child's lifes, however, are just more critical.  I think the toddler years are very important, because these years are where kids learn how to do things for themselves.  And the more things your toddler can do on their own the less of a pain in the ass they are.  I mean, lets face it, toddlers are just plain dumb and without our help they will think elbows and squares are the same as peanut butter jelly sandwiches and criss-cross applesauce.  We all get this desire to tutor our kids into the GT program with educational toys, flash cards, that crazy Baby Einstein crap, not to mention pre-reader books.  All of these things cost money and sometimes go unused and forgotten--in other words a waste of time and money.  What wouldyou say if I told you that there are a ton of educational toys all around your house that don't cost a dime?  Shocking right?  Let me show my favorite example.

How to teach your toddler with M&Ms:

  • Acquire M&Ms--many (key as you will inevitably eat some or most of them)

 

The Big Bag

 

 
  • Get a dish to hold them in

Educational Aid

 

  • Place dish out of reach of toddler (see easy)

 

Futile

 

So, what do we teach them you say, just everything.  I knew this one kid who would recite the preamble to the Constitution only to receive a oat on the head and a necco wafer.  As for toddlers, they can learn lots of stuff but no preamble (at least not early on).  All this teaching and educating can be very overwhelming and I am sure you are all like, "Where do we start Joeprah?"  Here is where it gets tricky and you may want to print this out so as not to forget.

What subjects to teach your toddler with utilizing M&Ms:

  • Colors (basic)
  1. ask toddler to identify blue M&M and if they get it correct they can eat it (note doesn't work with color blind toddler)
  2. ask toddler to identify red M&M and if they get it correct they can eat it (and so on)
  • Numbers (basic)
  1. Ask toddler to count out three M&Ms and if they do so correctly they can eat them (can be done with any number, but lets not go too high as you will be buying lots of M&Ms
  • Shapes (intermediate)
  1. This one is a little limited as the M&Ms are just circles, but you can still get your toddler to be experts at identifying circles (which is crucial)
  • Make toddler do flip or something else that makes you laugh (earn 1 M&M)
  1. This also teaches toddler the monetary system (if toddler does 40 flips make sure they know You need to be asking for those flips to get compensation or else those are just 40 wasted flips)
  • Barter system (advanced)
  1. If toddler trades in 100 M&Ms they can get a twizzler (must be mint condition M&Ms or yuck dude)
  • Potty Training (master)
  1. If toddler uses potty they get M&M (1 for #1 and 2 for #2) 

So as you can see, in the simple M&M there are nearly limitless (5) teaching opportunities.  Where else can education be found?  Wow, what else do you got?  Teddy Grahams, Goldfish, Grapes, etc., just use your imagination.  Thank you M&Ms!

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