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Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part VI | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Friday June 20, 2008
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Continued from:

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part I

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part II 

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part III 

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part IV

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part V

 

I know there are probably more stressful things for a guy than being in a hospital waiting for your child to be delivered, I just can’t think of what they are right now. All the beeping instruments, the needles going in and out of your spouse, the nurses, the midwife and the doctor are all teaming in anticipation, and you sit there watching the instruments announce contractions. Your wife is wailing away and all you can offer is your hand to hold all while saying the lamest thing ever, “breathe.” I mean, when can’t we breathe? Isn’t that a given? Why are we saying it? We should be saying something like, “Holy shit this has got to suck for you!” Or, “Look at you, that has to be uncomfortable.” At least that way you are being honest.

Jodi had a C-section with Bella and the doctors assured her that a vbac (pronounced v-back) was not only possible but the way they recommended and intended to approach this—her second delivery. A vbac delivery is the term for a vaginal birth after a caesarian delivery. It was all she could talk about in the weeks leading up to the delivery. Women who talk to pregnant ladies only talk about one thing—their pregnancies. The amount of hours their delivery took, the size of the baby, the pain, the needles, the pain and discomfort during the pregnancy, the complications—you know, the positive stuff. This conversation invariably leads to the pregnant woman talking about her pregnancy and, if they already have children, they begin talking about their other pregnancies. In this manner my wife told every woman humanly possible that she was expecting her current pregnancy to end in a vbac delivery. Apparently, lady folk regard vbacs like a Nolan Ryan rookie card. Each time she told a female the delivery plan their eyebrows would rise. Impressive.

At the hospital we had Bella with us and a port-a-crib, this wasn’t part of the plan. We wanted to have her stay with Jodi’s parents but that simply didn’t work out which added to the stress level in the delivery room. Jodi progressed through the contractions pretty quickly and was ready to deliver just after a few short hours at the hospital. As I mentioned, I would much rather see a c-section than a vaginal birth any ol’ day. This whole vbac thing was just brutal. It assaulted me on a level that is hard to convey. It was very difficult to imagine that a child was coming out of there. As Jodi began to push in earnest to delivery Mady, it was the first time I could ever remember feeling like I was about to faint. I don’t know what happened but during one of Jodi’s pushes something kinda popped and blood squirted pretty much all over down there. I can remember vividly looking down and seeing blood on my shoes. Jodi was doing a great job pushing and after like four big pushes we had Mady.

I found out that blood I saw on my shoes came from Jodi “tearing.” The doctor, as stoic as a tax collector, quickly began sewing Jodi back up. He told me what had happened and what he was doing, but I was pretty much finished looking down there, I turned, ashen I am sure to see the newest addition to our family who was being cleaned up and looked after by the nurse. The doctor felt compelled to tell me in excruciating detail that my wife had torn—like I could decipher where the trauma was anyways. It was as if all hell had broken loose in that region. Blood, mucus, membranes (I can only assume), discharges of various forms all seemed to be congealing into an ungodly concoction that ran thick like egg yolk mixed with molasses. The baby, although covered in this nastiness, was infinitely more inviting on the eyes, and man--she was beautiful. She was small but healthy and looked a great deal like Isabella when she was born. Mady had a full head of dark hair, a beautiful round head and a healthy pink tone.

Stay Tuned for the Next Installment

 

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Users' Comments (8) RSS feed comment
Posted by Matt, on Friday June 20, 2008 , , Guest
I feel you, man. Its amazing that something so amazing is preceded by something so gross. I remember in biology class we learned about some type of sponge that would grow offspring on the outside of its body. When the baby sponge was ready, it just broke off and started chillin. Now THAT would be a better way to have babies, wouldn't it?
 
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Posted by jt12blk, on Friday June 20, 2008 , , Registered
What I wasn't ready for was the navy blue face my first daughter had when she popped out. My eyes nearly popped out of my head seeing that. But the doctor and nurses seemed cool with it so I figured it was okay. She pinked up just fine... but I couldn't believe how blue she was at first! Great stories! Every pregnancy and delivery has a different story, no doubt.
 
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Posted by Corey, on Saturday June 21, 2008 , , Guest
I have to say....I LOVE hearing your perspective on childbirth. My hubby was on a fishing boat in Alaska when Sugar was born, and all the women in my the room with me didn't seem bothered at all by the happenings....and you KNOW I love talking about tearing... tee hee....I only regret not being interested at the time with the placenta, as it seems I had a really rare placenta. the next day....I wished I had checked it out. At the time though...I was just thanking the lord I hadn't died.
 
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Posted by eviltwinswife, on Saturday June 21, 2008 , , Registered
I had 2 c-sections (thank goodness!), but my first one was an emergency and they didn't have time to put up the blue "drape". My husband saw *everything* (the nurses had him sitting in a chair, holding my left hand - because I refused to be strapped down). 2nd one was scheduled, so good blue drape and hubby again sitting - but on my right - "Don't strap me down!" He said the first one was pretty gross.
 
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Posted by Hockeyman, on Sunday June 22, 2008 , , Guest
I fainted after reading this! I was present for both kid births who both came the old fashioned way. I am proud to say I was a top half Dad and wanted no lasting images of the process. I was happy to do my job the way I did and so was she. I will never forget those first sounds as long as I live.  
 
As for the tear, bless he heart. We had a tear each time and after hearing of them each time, I thanked my father repeatedly for that Y chromosome.
 
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Posted by Dea, on Monday June 23, 2008 , , Guest
OMG, your imagery is fabulous - even I, the pusher, did not want to look down there. They asked if I wanted a mirror - hell no, I'm busy, and I do NOT want to watch THAT! LOL!
 
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Posted by Jo Beaufoix, on Tuesday June 24, 2008 , , Guest
Oh the tearing bit made me squirm. I had the tearing and the cutting. Yuck. I do think it must be hard for dad's too though in that there is absolutely nothing they can do to stop/control this, they just have to watch. I know Mr B found that the hardest part. Fab post as always Joe.
 
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Posted by Petite Gamine, on Saturday June 28, 2008 , , Guest
Thanks for reminding me again of what I have to look forward to this fourth time around. I am not sure if it really does ever get easier. I mean I know what to expect this time around but it doesn't make it better. Still hurts like a bitch and I still pee when I cough. So much for that extra stitch for hubby... :p
 
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