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| Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part VI | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
Continued from: Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part II Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part III Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part IV Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Part V
I know there are probably more stressful things for a guy than being in a hospital waiting for your child to be delivered, I just can’t think of what they are right now. All the beeping instruments, the needles going in and out of your spouse, the nurses, the midwife and the doctor are all teaming in anticipation, and you sit there watching the instruments announce contractions. Your wife is wailing away and all you can offer is your hand to hold all while saying the lamest thing ever, “breathe.” I mean, when can’t we breathe? Isn’t that a given? Why are we saying it? We should be saying something like, “Holy shit this has got to suck for you!” Or, “Look at you, that has to be uncomfortable.” At least that way you are being honest. Jodi had a C-section with Bella and the doctors assured her that a vbac (pronounced v-back) was not only possible but the way they recommended and intended to approach this—her second delivery. A vbac delivery is the term for a vaginal birth after a caesarian delivery. It was all she could talk about in the weeks leading up to the delivery. Women who talk to pregnant ladies only talk about one thing—their pregnancies. The amount of hours their delivery took, the size of the baby, the pain, the needles, the pain and discomfort during the pregnancy, the complications—you know, the positive stuff. This conversation invariably leads to the pregnant woman talking about her pregnancy and, if they already have children, they begin talking about their other pregnancies. In this manner my wife told every woman humanly possible that she was expecting her current pregnancy to end in a vbac delivery. Apparently, lady folk regard vbacs like a Nolan Ryan rookie card. Each time she told a female the delivery plan their eyebrows would rise. Impressive. At the hospital we had Bella with us and a port-a-crib, this wasn’t part of the plan. We wanted to have her stay with Jodi’s parents but that simply didn’t work out which added to the stress level in the delivery room. Jodi progressed through the contractions pretty quickly and was ready to deliver just after a few short hours at the hospital. As I mentioned, I would much rather see a c-section than a vaginal birth any ol’ day. This whole vbac thing was just brutal. It assaulted me on a level that is hard to convey. It was very difficult to imagine that a child was coming out of there. As Jodi began to push in earnest to delivery Mady, it was the first time I could ever remember feeling like I was about to faint. I don’t know what happened but during one of Jodi’s pushes something kinda popped and blood squirted pretty much all over down there. I can remember vividly looking down and seeing blood on my shoes. Jodi was doing a great job pushing and after like four big pushes we had Mady. I found out that blood I saw on my shoes came from Jodi “tearing.” The doctor, as stoic as a tax collector, quickly began sewing Jodi back up. He told me what had happened and what he was doing, but I was pretty much finished looking down there, I turned, ashen I am sure to see the newest addition to our family who was being cleaned up and looked after by the nurse. The doctor felt compelled to tell me in excruciating detail that my wife had torn—like I could decipher where the trauma was anyways. It was as if all hell had broken loose in that region. Blood, mucus, membranes (I can only assume), discharges of various forms all seemed to be congealing into an ungodly concoction that ran thick like egg yolk mixed with molasses. The baby, although covered in this nastiness, was infinitely more inviting on the eyes, and man--she was beautiful. She was small but healthy and looked a great deal like Isabella when she was born. Mady had a full head of dark hair, a beautiful round head and a healthy pink tone. Stay Tuned for the Next Installment
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