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Blog The Blog Society and Me Happy Father’s Day You Lazy Alcoholic | Happy Father’s Day You Lazy Alcoholic | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
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Is this what society is saying to dads across America? The answer seems to be a resounding yes. If you have been shopping for a Father’s Day card for your husband/father/father-in-law you may have had to sift through the less than flattering clichés cards that portray dads in a none too favorable light. Moms have to deal with cliché cards too, but theirs aren’t based on them being horrible people. According to the cards, moms cook, clean, have rollers in their hair, juggle many things at once, and eat chocolate. Dads on the other hand are very different. According to the greeting cards I surveyed this year, dads are poor caregivers, drink in excess, constantly golf and or fish, pass gas constantly, grill food 24/7, seldom leave the cozy confines of their couch except to spend hours in the bathroom, and if they ever get lost on the way to the bathroom they never ever ask for directions. It’s like my mother-in-law in her generalization of me as a “big time fishermen.” I have literally went fishing a handful of times in the sixteen years we have known each other but somehow that gets me a fishing trinket from her on days such as Father’s Day. Using that logic I should really be getting gangster-rap T-shirts because I probably have actually listened to and liked six rap songs in that same time frame—which would decisively trump fishing as my bigger hobby. This whole “dads can’t do anything right” label is played. It’s like domestic Swiss cheese—it just doesn’t make sense. Enough’s enough already. I know a lot of dads. Of all the dads I have ever known in my life, I can’t think of more than like three that deserve some of these cliché cards. One guy is divorced, another is in jail (but still not a bad guy), and another is a larger man that just has issues controlling his gas. Does this make us all monsters? Trust me; I like a good fart joke as much as the next guy and I think bodily functions are enthralling and comical on many levels. I just don’t endorse the idea of buying a card, which is supposed to celebrate your father, which shows a lady with a gas mask on the front. I want some pregnancy cards to be released that say things like, “Congratulations You Smelly Cow,” or “Hemorrhoids are Nasty and So is Your Pregnant Gas.” Pregnant ladies let gas pass like they are in some sick contest, well at least the ones I have met. They are burping, farting, food devourers that mostly fall asleep, with their pants unzipped, in front of the TV. Give a pregnant woman a beer and a roll of duct tape and there is your Father’s Day cliché. Alas, according to Carlton Cards, she will at least ask for directions on her way to the ER. If you don’t trust me, I took a video camera with me into a local Target and Hallmark store to see what was out there. The Hallmark store scored well in my opinion, where as the Target failed. They had the fart cards, the lazy TV watching beer drinker cards, and the plethora of golfing cards. Roll the tape! What are your thoughts? Are dads portrayed unfairly in the media as well as greeting cards? Do pregnant women pass gas? What is domestic Swiss cheese? Vote and be heard. If you liked this post, rate me a '10' at BuzzFuse (comments are extra credit). 
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Comments (15)
 
Funny how the next post after this one was golfy.
 I don't usually buy ready-made cards just because they all do generally stereotype unless they're unfunny ones with blank innerds. I got my dad a mug that says "I love my Daddy" in crayon-type writing on it. I think it did the trick better than any card could have done. 1
June 17, 2008
Votes: +0
I agree. Marketing folks must have been raised but lazy alcoholic sports fanatics because that's all they seem to cater to. We don't let our kids watch network TV because there isn't a show out there that portrays dads in a reasonable light. Keep up the good fight!
2
June 16, 2008
Votes: +0
I agree. Marketing folks must have been raised but lazy alcoholic sports fanatics because that's all they seem to cater to. We don't let our kids watch network TV because there isn't a show out there that portrays dads in a reasonable light. Keep up the good fight!
3
June 16, 2008
Votes: +0
I agree. Marketing folks must have been raised but lazy alcoholic sports fanatics because that's all they seem to cater to. We don't let our kids watch network TV because there isn't a show out there that portrays dads in a reasonable light. Keep up the good fight!
4
June 16, 2008
Votes: +0
Right on, Joeprah! Lots of negative Dad images there.
I gotta say though, dude - is it really a good idea to be recording blog videos while driving? With your kid in the car no less? Were you trying to be ironic? Ahhhh - I just farted.  5
June 15, 2008
Votes: +0
yeah... I think that Dads get a bad rap in media, and especially commercials targeted to women.
6
June 15, 2008
Votes: +0
Yeah, I totally hear that. I actually got my dad a sports analogy one last year, bought it at Hallmark. Looking back, I thought it was funny at the time, but not so much now. It is a horrible generalized stereotype! My husband is an excellent father, not lazy, not a huge beer drinker, and I think that the fact that SOOO many cards say so--and even looking at sitcom shows, they portray that more often than not too--really says a lot about our culture.
7
June 15, 2008
Votes: +0
I'm happy to report that my family doesn't buy into that garbage unless it's an intentional joke. I usually get hand-drawn cards from my girls and hand-crafted poetry or letters from my wife - far more creative than the greeting card tripe available on the market today.
While I am a fix-it guy and I love to grill, I do find the cliches and lack of originality to be worn out and in a dire need of a refresh. What really offends me, though, is the six-pack card. Don't tease me. Buy me a real six pack. At today's prices, the card probably costs as much anyway. 8
June 15, 2008
Votes: +0
I always bought my dad the 'I'm broke, give me money' type cards as a teenager - I never realized until right now how so not funny that is.
My dad was always the fishing, golfing, grilling, ATM machine! That expose was awesome, I think it should be a regular feature  10
June 14, 2008
Votes: +0
Love it! Very funny - and true. But I have to admit: My husband is a great Dad. But he does fart - a lot. And is quite proud of his couch-dwelling, beer-drinking abilities.
By the way, pregnant women never fart. And if they do, it smells like roses! 11
June 14, 2008
Votes: +0
Little sensitve are we? We don't have better things to worry about as Dads? All I need is the time to time when my kids actually get it,when they aren't telling me how mean I am because I have to be the heavy or how I don't understand,the sporadic thanks Dad hug and kiss are good enough for me. A side note: at least you were't scratching your balls while you were looking into the camera instead of watching the road.I'm in the body shop business so keep up those great driving habits I'll be seeing you soon.(this is called a joke)
12
June 14, 2008
Votes: +0
Yup, the cards ARE offensive.
Related are all the sitcoms that 'portray' family life - any intelligent Dads there? Nada. I personally know a few Dads who aren't into sports all that much. I know cool Dads that don't drink, play golf and actually are involved with their families. Must be that famous law: For the women: sex sells For the men: gross & disgusting sells This is why I make my own cards....that'll be the day when I pay for this drivel! 13
June 14, 2008
Votes: +0
I dunno. What I DO know is that the title of this post is, I think, my all-time favorite blog post title. May have to borrow it for tomorrow's homemade, macaroni-noodled card to my man.
14
June 14, 2008
Votes: +0 Write comment
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