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* Warning: if you get offended over satirical posts; first, shame on you; second, you may skip this post and wait for something simpler in design *  I think many other dad bloggers may have noticed that once they have categorized themselves as a “dad blogger” they have almost instantly given themselves a mortal blog wound. What I mean is that many female/mom bloggers don’t give men/daddy bloggers the time of day, simply because of their protuberances. I have noticed many times in the past that moms will leave me comments like, “I don’t normally read dad blogs, but…” or “I told myself that I wouldn’t read any dad blogs, but…” or “The ladies in my sewing circle are going to kill me for reading your blog, but…”
I know there are quite a few ladies who don’t subscribe to this philosophy, I call them Joeprah/Busy Dad readers, but there are many ladies who just don’t give us dads a fair look. So, Ladies, what’s the problem? Why don’t you frequent dad blogs with the same intensity that you frequent mom blogs? I enlisted the help of some mom/female blogging friends on Twitter and some friends not on Twitter (I know, they’re out there--weird right?). These ladies simply stoked my creative fires, so don’t blame them for my mediocrity. They helped in the formation of the list, but in no way are they responsible for all the idiotic things I write. So, in no order whatsoever, here they are: Missy from JThomasBlog Christine from Serenity How Moms Group Manual for MomsGroupManual Cool Moms Rule from CoolMomsRule A Buns Life from BunsLife The Bean Blog from TheBeanBlog and, finally, Fragile Heart from FragileHeart Thanks ladies! So here is the definitive list of nine reasons why moms and mom bloggers primarily surf mom blogs: - Testosterone. Period. Dad blogs have it, mom blogs don’t. They smell/fear/yawn in the presence of it.
- Estrogen, or the lack thereof - Apparently, moms can smell estrogen embedded in any font/web address. A pink background is apparently a must in the mom blogging community and anytime a mom happens across another said pink blog they are lulled into an estrogen-induced state of euphoria. Men and dads who blog have less pink if any whatsoever and this confuses the female internet surfer and usually has them rushing for the back button faster than you can say Extra Strength Motrin. This has little or nothing to do with the website, but rather, the website's color.
- Empathy – women identify with other women somehow. I really don’t understand because the person I am closest to is my wife, not some other dude. Sausage party? No thanks. Women, though, congregate in groups like ants. They look for those going through the same stuff as they are. All of like mind, very impressive/scary. There are many mom blog directories/communities like mom café, blog mama, the mom blogs, the mom blog network, etc. etc. There are currently zero dad blog directories that I know of.
- Content – women like to read what other ladies have to say no matter what it is. I read a ton of blogs and many are mom blogs. I have read some posts on mom blogs which are either a picture with a caption or a sentence saying, “I don’t know what I am going to blog about today…” and they somehow get like 90 comments and a boat load of traffic. I am dumbfounded. I spend like 15 minutes a piece on photoshopped images, not to mention animated gifs and let’s not forget the completely amazing writing and videos I produce and I get like 10 comments and three are mine. What gives?
- Gossip – women like to read other ladies blogs so they can stay up to date with gossip. Women, as a group, like to be in other people's business which explains the longevity of Soap Opera's Mexican or US based. Now internet gossip is still gossip, albeit virtual gossip, but it is still gossip nonetheless. I see so many posts on blogs when women are basically trashing their relatives, neighbors, husbands, goldfish, w/e and other women follow up continuing the gossip train, fanning the fuels of the gossip fire so to speak, an interactive Soap Opera.
- Whining – apparently whining is a very subjective/gender related issue. Women denote whining as any question a guy asks ever or how we act when we get sick (fact: men just get more intensely sick than women), so their tolerance for male related questions (i.e. whining) is very small to non-existent thus explaining why many don't frequent male blogs.
- Advice – women look to other women for advice and tips on how to do virtually anything in their lives: cook, clean, deal with life, etc. Women are smarter than guys in this aspect perhaps because they come equipped with less pride allowing them to ask and seek out answers to questions they couldn’t answer on their own. Men, on the other hand, will proudly drive for an hour without stopping because we hate admitting we have no idea what the hell we are doing.
- Sympathy – Ladies like for someone to be all like, “Aww, you have it soooo tough.” I call this the “pity party” factor, ladies call it a “support system.” I say Toe-May-toe, you say Toe-Mah-toe.
- Dislike of men – some women, I am convinced, do not read dad blogs because they just plain old don’t like guys. Might be something in particular that men have done to forever scare them or perhaps they simply think men are stupid and not worth the time of day. The groups of women that dislike men include militant feminists, non-militant feminists, business ladies, ladies, broads, chicks, stay at home moms, stay at home broads, moms, young ladies, young chicks, and young broads. I have no idea how women could not like men, but whatever that’s broads for you.
So there you have it, a definitive list meant to entertain but will surely get the ire of someone from blog land. Are you a mom blogger? Is there any merit to this list whatsoever? Are you a dad blogger? Do you see it to be more difficult to break into the world of blogging as a parent since you are a dude? Do you think you get the shaft from mom bloggers? Assistant Joeprah Editors on this Post Include: Jeremy
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