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JoeprahWho is Joeprah?  I am a stay at home dad to three daughters.  I have an amazing wife and under the direction and encouragement of close friends I started this site over a year ago.  You can follow me at The Examiner.com, Twitter, Stumble Upon and Cre8BuzzRead more...

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Why Playgroups Piss Me Off | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Thursday February 14, 2008
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Views 1408    
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Playgroups are code for Gossip SessionAs a stay at home dad I found out pretty quickly that:

 

playgroups are lady-folk-code for "Gossip Session." 

 

I would have to say that I am battle-tested at this point when it comes to my expectations at "playgroups."  No longer do I go into the melee expecting to come out unscathed or for that matter wanting to return.  In my earlier years as a bold faced rookie I went into playgroups innocent without expectation.  Let me explain, I thought the point of "playgroups" was to let the kids interact with one another under the watchful supervision of the parents present, but what I came to discover was that the "playgroups" that I frequented centered around women gossiping and eating while I tended to the kids.  Every once in a while I would sit on these intellectual round table discussions based on what TV hunk was yummiest or why some friend (not present) would wear something like she did.  Time, in a situation like this for a guy, does not move.  The ladies would invariably ask me not to tell "so and so" what was said about her.  My response is always the same in that situation,

 

 

"Your secret is safe with me because I don't care."  

 

It was like I got stuck at the girls table at lunch time back in middle school. 

I actually was asked to run a community based playgroup in my initial year as a stay at homer and agreed citing rookie blindness.  I was in charge of setting up toys in community center with mats underneath all of which took me about 30 minutes.  I did this while I watched my 9 month old, and it wasn't easy.  After all was said and done I opened the gym and let dozens of families in to slobber over ever toy and splat mat I put out.  During the two hour gym time I would maybe get 5 minutes of interaction with any of the moms in the place.  It was as if I didn't exist. 

 

You're welcome.

 

They would all leave and I would clean and put away everything and wondered why I was there.  If it wasn't for my strong desire to have my daughter exposed to other kids and for her to enjoy the heck out of herself I would of hermitized (word? sp? I don't care) myself.  Not that I am bitter.  I have found a much better way to find out if I am going to be able to stomach a groups company as I have gotten more experienced.  Just starting out in the playgroup game?  My advice to you is go to them for your kids and if any stimulating adult conversation or interaction comes from it then stick with that group.  Otherwise, keep your options open and always be looking for another gig.  Also, another great bit of advice is to host playgroups occasionally at your place.  That way the ladies feel less apt to talk amongst themselves and ignore you.  Make a big deal out of it.  Clean your house and give the ladies nothing to talk about later on because you know they will.  Provide everything from coffee to fruit salad and bagels and watch the eyebrows rise.
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Users' Comments (3) RSS feed comment
Posted by Michelle, on Friday March 14, 2008 , , Guest
Pffft. I'm a woman and I don't get the "playgroup" mentality either. After my baby started kissing the mirror I thought it was time to let him mingle a bit with other kids. I've been to a playgroup twice now. Let's just say I do it for him. All the women huddle around a table having tea and biscuits while the children run around nuttily. At this stage I think I'm seen as the outsider and no one except one or two speak to me. That's okay, at least my boy is enjoying himself.
 
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Posted by Christine @ Serenity How?, on Thursday April 3, 2008 , , Registered
I'm starting to think I was the only person on the planet who joined a playgroup full of genuinely nice people. It's really true. Maybe it's because we killed off all the rude, mean, gossipy chicks. I'm not telling. They asked me not to. :grin
 
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Posted by so grateful to be mormon, on Friday April 4, 2008 , , Guest
hey joe! i am so with you on this. i can not stand negative gossip. it is my number one pet peeve! good for you. stay strong :) kathleen
 
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