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| The Playgroup Play Along Game for Dads | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
After being in the playgroup circuit for over 7 years, I have started to discover that certain conversations and certain words are more an affront to me as a Chuck Norris fearing dude. I, like all guys, compete, so I have created a game that all men everywhere can partake in if they ever go to a playgroup. Now, for some unknown reason, ladies think that playgroups are both "gossip time" and also time to talk about their pregnancies so I have created a list of key words and their respective point totals in a game format so that you, an average guy, can find out just how much estrogen you have been exposed to. The point system below was devised based on how difficult certain words are to hear for a guy. Here is how the scoring system works:
The Playgroup Play Along Game for Dads
**special thanks to Pete, Pete Rules for pointing out the breastfeeding issue** The Next Section is the Pregnancy Section and contains ideas as well as terminology
Bonus Round! You get 5 points for each time you hear these words:
How did you score?
Under 20 points or "Mild Estrogen Exposure"Now, if you just attended a playgroup and the score was under 20 points you need to buck up young man, you are one of the lucky ones. Rub some dirt on it and move along, 'tis merely a flesh wound. 20 to 30 points or "Intermediate Estrogen Exposure"If you just returned from a playgroup and you tallied over 20 points but less then 30 you deserve a cold beer and about an hour of watching the three stooges to re-assimilate back into male culture. 30 to 40 points or "Advanced Estrogen Exposure"If you returned from a playgroup and you marked down between 30 to 40 points on your scorecard you need a six pack S.T.A.T. Also, I suggest detoxing from the estrogen overload by lifting weights, mowing the lawn, trying to change your oil (even if you don't know how), or heading to the driving range and getting the 'Jumbo' bucket. 40 to 50 points or "Severe Estrogen Exposure"If you are one of the soldiers that just endured hell on Earth, that is if have just returned from a session where you tallied between 40-50 points, there are no easy answers. I don't know why this happens to good people, but I do offer a solution. *Note: This is a long term strategy* Begin playing a first person shooter console game immediately. If you do not have a first person shooter game, resort to Madden or another sport/fighting game if you don't have this watch Rocky over and over. By day two of this you should now be able to detox by using the same strategy employed for those who suffered a 30 to 40 point scorecard. If you have flashbacks to the playgroup you should immediately begin playing a console game until that feeling subsides. Also you will need at least 36 hot wings a large pizza (you can choose the toppings) and around 12-48 beers (depending on your tolerance of course) to get through this. Over 50 Points or "Epic Estrogen Exposure"Finally, if you have endured a round of over 50 points you are most likely at Ann Taylor Loft trying on clothes. Pray that someone finds you before you start scrap-booking or trying your hand at needle point while watching a Hugh Grant flick. I have heard rumors of a guy that had a 200 point round. Legend has it that he ran off leaving mainstream society completely. Months later, as it was passed down to me, he eventually surfaced in some underworld sewing circle. *note: this story is most likely completely made up, but totally possible* If you have experienced this type of playgroup, first, I am so very,very sorry. Second, you need to calm down. Take a standing ten count. There are three known solutions to bring a fella back from the brink after such an event:
Lingering effects of such an exposure include, but are not limited to:
All You Gots to Do is Click            
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Hey Joeprah, I ranked a light Intermediate... 
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