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| Oh, Well, Then Allow Me to Retort | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
Setting the Stage Excellent, you're back! So, what did you think? Need help? Let me start by saying this article is offensive to 99% of the SAHDs out there trying their hardest to do what's best for their families. If you did not read the article here is the synopsis: The Synopsis
My TurnBottom line, her assertion is that everyone in the US cheats and that SAHDs are "keeping it real" if they admit to it because it fits into the box she lives in. She applauds this mans honesty only because it must somehow validate her own philosophies that, perhaps to no fault of her own, have been created by past failed relationships or witnessing others struggle with infidelity. My reality, after reading many SAHD blogs, articles, and forums; after being a SAHD (part or full-time) for almost 8 years; after meeting and talking to other SAHDs in my journey as a dad/husband/human being is that the average Joe SAHD isn't some rock star, ego maniacal figure that looks for spa treatments and manicures, but rather a hard working guy that deals with spit up, crying babies and stinky diapers with the best of them. If Ms. Trunks is so intune with corporate America then she should understand that the workplace is changing and many more dads are working from home or out of their home more than ever before. The trend isn't chauvinistic jerks, like the one she highlights in this article, but rather dads becoming more active in their children's lives. Seriously, labels always suck and what Penelope just did was pigeon hole a segment of society unfairly and without provocation simply because this one dude emailed her more consistently. If that’s what it takes to get a guest spot on her blog I suggest that all crazy people everywhere start emailing her consistently and make her blog really fun. I try everyday, whether it be here on my blog or in public when I am out with my girlfriends (what I call my daughters), to show people that SAHDs are just normal people who hug their kids and kiss their spouses just like everyone else. Thanks for the slap in the face Ms. Trunks , we could do without it. Drive-thru. If you feel as strongly as I do about this, please leave a comment below so that Ms. Trunks can see the solidarity.
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Comments (77)
 
Yo Joe,
Has Ms. Trunk cooled her jets? Or has she still got bounty out on you. -MileHighDad www.milehighdad.com  1
May 08, 2008
Votes: +0
Didn't read the Penelope Trunk article. Life is too short! But I took the time to read your post and the comments because I know and trust your site. SAHDs and SAHMs are taking a lot of flak, when what we need is more of both. If more parents devoted more time and attention to their children, we wouldn't have the societal and familial breakdown we have in this country.
It says more about Ms. Trunk than SAHDs that she chose to admire and post about a sleazy Lothario, rather than a genuine parent. Keep us the good work! Brennan 2
May 04, 2008
Votes: +0
She obviously has issues with SAHDs. How sad really. I'd never heard of her before and will never read her again but this post was certainly one sided and in no way represents what it's like for real SAHDs. Feel sorry for her, she deserves that.
3
May 04, 2008
Votes: +0
Oh wow. What a piece of work that Trunk is. It stood out to me that he referred to himself as a "stay at home HUSBAND" and not SAHD. And if you're going to write an article about SAHD, why go to someone who wants to talk about an affair? The statement that he was "more honest than the other SAHDs that she talks to" is sad.
She gives a bad name to all SAHDs with that dorkus article. Puhleeze. 4
May 03, 2008
Votes: +0
I started reading her post and clicked away because I did not want to give this women anymore readers for such bulls@#t.
100% agree with you Joeprah. 100% .. 5
May 03, 2008
Votes: +0
:eek That lady is a nut looking to confirm her own opinion about men. Just because this guy (if he exists and his emails actually add up to the way she edited it) is a pig doesn't mean all are. I think most guys with the cojones to be stay at home dads don't have this kind of emotional deficiency. You have to be a real man to stay home while your wife brings home the bacon - it takes a lot of self confidence and emotional maturity to deal with kids all day. I'm a stay at home Mom and I know that it's not an easy job and I know my husband couldn't do it - so I am even more impressed that those men who can and do.
6
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
First, hers:
How disgusting. I was going to comment, but she didn't deserve the finger action required to type a response. She interviewed a disgusting human being about his disgustingness. She posted it for attention. She probably wrote it herself after finding out her man cheated on her or something. How utterly disgusting. If that guy was the most honest, does that mean all guys are stifling their inner ***hole? Like, seriously. "The title of the article is "What life's really like for a stay at home dad"" --- uh, in the story, he's not even AT home. Can I punch her? Is the guy honest though? I'd like to ask his wife. I bet she'd love to hear his honesty. Joeprah, have you ever been jealous of your wife's success? You don't seem like the type, and I would assume your life is somehow full enough that you would feel rewarded by what you do anyway. Of course, everybody would wonder where the road untravelled would have taken them, but to be jealous of the person you love and support would be so destructively sad. You rock, Joeprah. I'd let you raise my behbehs. 7
May 02, 2008
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Blimey, is she mad? An as for him, what an a*sehole. Seriously, I feel so sorry for his wife and kids. Git.
8
May 02, 2008
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She must have incredibly low standards when it comes to men, and her kids are clearly going to benefit from the good moral grounding she's providing.
9
May 02, 2008
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I didn't want to follow the link, because I didn't want to send her traffic, but I am glad I did.
I read her post and the first 100 or so comments. (No, my dishes are NOT washed, why do you ask?  I realized something... She admires this guy, she thinks he's honest and upstanding, because he is the kind of guy she was married to. She related to his story, that's all. She projected some morbid outrage onto this guy, and wrote a very stupid post based on it. It's no different that the people who fall in love with serial killers and stuff, or who are raised by drunks and them breed with drunks. She's attracted to that sort of scum, and rather than admit her own flaws, she blames Men At Large. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. 10
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
Must be nice to make rash judgments about whole groups of people based on one idiot.
11
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
I completely agree with you man. Thanks for bringing this article to all of our attention! (By our I mean SAHDs everywhere!)
JollyGreenDad 12
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
I never read this woman's blog and never will again. Not only is it offensive to SAHDs, but it is offensive to SAHMs. It implies that any parent that stays at home with the kids is looking for a way to escape, through affairs or some other means, and that women that stay at home with the kids should be grateful for other women that have forged a path into the career world so that other moms may make this escape if they so desire. I hate to break it to her, but staying at home with the kids is a choice, not a prison sentence.
13
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
fantastic post. agree with you 100%
i found you through your comment on Ms Trunk's post....i thought her choice to display that man's email's were inappropriate and throughly disappointing. i think Ms Trunk is just scarred because her own experience with a SAHD/Husband didn't work out. i like to think there are guys out there doing a damn good job of parenting - and it seems like you are a case in point! we need more positive examples of different parenting styles and options because it's just not conceivable any longer that women should continue to be the only person to stay at home. 14
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
Alrighty, that story went terribly awry. Weird! I was kind of enjoying the background and validating his feelings and all in my head then BAM. Wha? Who knew the life of a SAHD was so tantilizing and exciting and SAD? OMG. And then her response...ugh. I would totally have unsubscribed if I had ever thought to subcribe in the past. I would start emailing her crazy stories but she bores me.
I couldn't agree with you more. I am not a SAHD (or even play on on TV which would be weird) but my closest friend through the "playgroup stage" was a SAHD which made my "playgroup stage" a lot more tolerable. So I have had a peek into the life. Oh, I should clarify that I am not 50 and we didn't spend 3 hours in a hotel for Penelope's readers at home. 15
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
I was so incredibly offended by this article, she seriously chose a guy that had an affair as the guy to showcase the life of a SAHD? I don't really get her point in the post, other than obviously to piss some people off. I'm a SAHM and just because you are male doesn't make staying at home with the kids any different. Sure, other people may view you differently because you are a guy but its a job, like any other, you have the same headaches and nuances as a woman doing the same job. I think what annoys me most about this acticle is that it's written (edited)by a woman, she knows that women struggle to be seen as equals in the workplace and she is doing the same thing to men in the home. Hypocrit!
16
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
Oh Joe, I don't read her blog but after reading this post, I'm standing on your side. Hey, you are a great dad and it's so difficult to be able to find SAHDs especially in Asia. There is nothing wrong with getting closer to the children. Dads make up 50% of the word parents and if mothers can stay at home, so can fathers.
17
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
Dude. Seriously...what is up with people??? Great job standing up for all the SAHD's out there. You know we love you, and we all think you're a great dad.
18
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
I left her a comment also but, it's clearly a hit piece. Probably trying to egg on her ex to hurry up with the settlement, or bitch about the one she got. I'm assuming that, after having read some of the comments on her "slog". Love the Pulp Fiction analogy; and Quirkee, it was "The Wolf". Think I'm going to go have a "Roy-Al, with Cheese".
19
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
psh, fo' real?
SHE AIN'T NOTHIN' IN THIS HOTT BLOG NATION! I mean, for starters, she ain't even hott anyway. 20
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
psh, fo' real?
SHE AIN'T NOTHIN' IN THIS HOTT BLOG NATION! I mean, for starters, she ain't even hott anyway. 21
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
Was that a joke? Seriously, so sad. I have issues with labels and that article. But I love that you call the girls your girlfriends. You are too sweet. A big poopie on the author. Ugh!
22
May 02, 2008
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Um, pardon the stupid question but: obvious anatomical differences aside, how are stay at home dads different from stay at home moms? Arent both stay at home parents?
23
May 02, 2008
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Please, please tell me Penelopes post was a JOKE! She CANNOT be serious!! That was ridiculous. Please don't glorify adultery, Penelope! Or insinuate that being a SAHD drives you to it!!
Crazy, dude. She must be nuts to feature that guy. 24
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
Joe, would you please delete my last comment? As an editor it bothered me that I didn't post it correctly!
--- I left a comment on her post but thought I would share it here so nobody has to click there to read it. Here it is... "Every now and then a writer/blogger posts something along these lines about SAHDs in order to stir up controversy and drive traffic to their sites. You have proven once again that it works, and thatҒs a shame. Not only have you lost all journalistic credibility in many readers eyes, but in the end you will probably lose readers - all for the sake of narcissism. This post was offensive to more than just us stay-at-home dads. I am not subscribed to your blog and have never heard of you until this post. You can be sure that I will also never come back. I encourage everyone else to do the same." 25
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
She is an absolute COW. She stigmatizes yet another section of society that already has its own internal critcs. I hope she realizes the error of her ways...but people like her are always suffering rectal-cranial inversion.
26
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
Oops, my "quote" tags and "Here it is" line is out of place, but you all can probably see what I meant. :zzz
27
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
My kneejerk response to this was the same assumption you originally made. She's been screwed upside and down by someone previously. Until she can personally walk in your shoes, her ability to portray an accurate accounting of what SAHDs do is pure fiction, egged on by what I can only assume is someone seeking their 15 minutes. It is obviously apparent that her little world is just that - her little distorted world.
Kudos to all of you SAHDs. I applaud each and every one of you. Don't buy into the stigmas spewed by a spinster with an ego bigger than the audience who believes her crap. 28
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
I left a comment on her post but thought I would share it here so nobody has to click there to read it.
Every now and then a writer/blogger posts something along these lines about SAHDs in order to stir up controversy and drive traffic to their sites. You have proven once again that it works, and thatҒs a shame. Here it is... "Not only have you lost all journalistic credibility in many readers eyes, but in the end you will probably lose readers - all for the sake of narcissism. This post was offensive to more than just us stay-at-home dads. I am not subscribed to your blog and have never heard of you until this post. You can be sure that I will also never come back. I encourage everyone else to do the same." 29
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
Are you frickin' kidding me? She can lick my big toe.
This "SAHD" as he calls himself really sounds like a stay at home loser. Did he even have any kids? Or, was it just Muffin the dog? Because I never really heard much about the kids... And, I loved the picture they painted of SAHMs too...just a bunch of ladies living in luxury, doing nothing but squandering our husband's money away and eating bon-bons...and then, of course, sleeping with strangers for the heck of it. Damn. Got me to a T. Not. So, to say SAHDs are a male version of the above is crap again. And personally, my respect for people comes from the people they choose to be...not for the "job titles" they choose to take...whether it be a stay at home parent or a doctor or a lawyer. And, ya know...I've heard men and women, alike talk about how hard being a parent is...whether they stay at home or not. I'm not entirely sure what she's smoking. Hey wait, was she the 50 year old lady? 30
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
O.K., I read the blog post in question.
1. Borrring....zzzz 2. Not sure how someone finds "cheating" to be "honest". 3. While I did not dignify that petty post with a comment, I am sorry I may have added to Ms. Trunk's viewership. 4. I don't like her and will never read her column again. Or buy her stupid book. :x 31
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
I've never heard of this PT person either, but just from the short, limit exposure I've had with blogging SAHDs, she was hopelessly taken in by an obvious poser. This guy is a Dad? Did she edit all mention of his CHILDREN out of his email? If he was an anonymous source why would she take anything he wrote at face value or did she just want someone to validate her own skewed vision of what a SAHD was. The guy, if legit, sounds like a loser - husband, dad, man and human being.
32
May 02, 2008
Votes: +0
First, and foremost, LOVED the title and the initial explanatory paragraph. I imagine you saying, "Say Stay At Home Dad again. I dare you!"
As usual, the wild cards get the press and the upstanding men who are actually bonding with and taking care of their children are barely noticed if at all mentioned. It's salacious. This guy has children, he takes care of them but he really only emphasizes that he had an affair. And then feels a minor amount of regret (it seems). That's not how it's working on my block. And I'm hopeful that it's not really working that way on most blocks out there, whether it's Mom or Dad who's staying home. Way to show how it's really working, Joe, without hiding behind an "anonymous" label. Who knows if this SAHD even exists, except for a blog post on this chick "Brad's" site (see, I can't even remember her name). But I do remember Brad and his Kahuna burger. 33
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
While I work some pretty grueling hours and don't have children, let me say this about stay-at-home parents: I don't want your job! It's just too darned hard.
The hours are long (usually 24/7); the pay is non-existent; the responsibility is overwhelming; some with outside-the-home jobs think they are superior and say stupid things; and the "Thank You"s are limited. A stay-at-home parent must be a multi-tasker and organizer as well as scheduler, negotiator and peace maker. If anyone doesn't believe that, just let 'em try it for a couple of weeks. These people have my unabashed admiration. 34
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
I'm not a SAHD, but if I was one I definitely would take offense to that article. It can't be real. If it is, I'd hate to be one of the kids he looks after on a daily basis. It's probably hookers and blow at his house. I read the blogs of many SAHDs, and what she is trying to get across as part of her "agenda" couldn't be further from the truth. Pathetic really.
35
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
Clearly this is a case of "my s*&t having no smell on it". I wonder where she gets off praising a dick like him? Her self-importance reminds me of a little turd in a big bowl. I'd love to have her come live in "my" world for just one day. She'd be picking pieces of the parking lot in front of my office off her buttcheeks for a week.
Good on ya, Joe! 36
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
Great rebuttal post. I visited Ms. Trunk's blog from the link on yours. I won't bother going back. From your post, I expected to at least find a professionally written article with a different point of view but all I found was narcissistic drivel both from Ms Trunk and her pathetic example. She shows both a lack of judgment and a lack of taste. And then she tries to justify it by adding an addendum. If it weren't insulting to every stay at home dad, it would just be laughable.
37
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
I hate women who publish "all men are jerks" stuff. Some men are total jerks. Most men are not.
I don't know you, Joe, but from what I read you are not one of the jerky ones. You are doing what is best for your family and you sound like you are a great Dad. And a great husband. I have subscribed to your blog now, I have NOT subscribed to hers. 39
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
Ok, 1st - never heard of her. She's not *that* important. Obviously.
2nd - any woman who thinks it's "honorable" that a man be honest about cheating is sick and wrong on so many levels. The phrase "honest about cheating" alone is cause for a WTF? 3rd - I bet you she is 50 and having an affair with a SAHD. signed - Maternal Mirth www.maternalmirth.blogspot.com 40
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
Hi Joe. I've read Penelope's post twice already, and am still amazed that she would actually allow such a post on her blog. After reading it, and feeling completely disgusted by it, I couldn't help but wonder if the "anonymous" SAHD happens to be someone we might already know of as a blogger perhaps, but the piece of dirt felt it necessary to be anonymous to save his hide.
I'm not a SAHM and my husband is not a SAHD, but I have immense respect for those that can and do stay at home, work from work etc. Penelope's post was a real slap in the face to all SAHD's in my opinion. 41
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????
I was at the salon (not as a client...as an employee) today and only got to sneak a peek at the Anthill real quick, so was chomping at the bit to get home and see what all the hullabaloo was about (Do people still use the word "Hullabaloo"?). I am so completely offended on your behalf by this; something like this is so damaging. Making generalizations and saying that this is what a "Typical Fill-in-the-blank" does or is, well, it doesn't do anybody any good, and it gives the haters more ammo. Though she obviously can post what she wants because it's her blog, people who are offended don't have to read it...It would be interesting to see what happens with her traffic after a few days. ARGH! On the bright side Joe, you are doing amazing things within your own family and all of us can see that: I would automatically think of you and some of the other great bloggie dads I've met if someone ever said something about a SAHD to me, so I guess that's a good thing! We're all behind the good SAHDs... 42
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
I think it has been established that anyone who stays home with the babies has their work cut out for her. Didn't Dr. Phil say staying home with the kids is the quivalent to two full time jobs?? I have a ton of respect for SAHD's and I think it's really healthy for kids to get that opportunity to be close with their Dads. The Dads I meet are totally hands on and extremely loving. Maybe we should ask the kids what they thing...
Perhaps Penelope is on the rag...or hasn't been laid...or is upset because she has spent years trying to deal with the fact that her parents named her PENELOPE.  43
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
The guy who wrote those emails probably isn't a SAHD anyway, for all we know. More likely you can find his stories in the Penthouse Forum section, where he about exploits that never actually happened. I doubt he's a dad at all, if he even exists.
44
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
Nice retort! Jules would have been proud. Nobody got shot and you didn't have to call in "The Cleaner" to mop up your mess!
45
May 01, 2008
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Its obvious she's projecting, based on her own baggage related to her marriage and SAH husband. On the face of it, the post is simply garbage.
46
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
There's almost no place for me to begin. The article has absolutely nothing to do with the life of a Stay at Home Dad or any Dad for that matter. It's a sounding board for a moral degenerate that clearly lacks any respect for his wife or his family. She just gave the guy air--he needs to be speaking with the wife and the family he has so callusly (sp?) betrayed.
47
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
May I ask why after perusing "tons" of letters from SAHDs Ms. Trunk would choose this escapee from a Dear Abby column to post, albeit as an edit of several communications from a single individual? Perhaps it was that there was little in the other missives to appeal to the more puerile of her readers. Perhaps it was an attempt to shock. Or perhaps she was seeking the very controversy that has followed.
Whatever the reason, it was a cheap shot at a group of men who most certainly deserve more respect. Might I be so bold as to question Ms. Trunk's own expertise in the area of child rearing? I find nothing in her apparently self-written biography on the http://www.linkedin.com/ website to indicate any expertise in the field of family dynamics. Ms. Trunk has obviously offered an opinion and only an opinion. We are all entitled to our opinions. One would hope however, that a "journalist" would at the very least attempt to offer an informed one. 48
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
Well... I guess everyone has an opinion. Every time I read articles written by people not SAHD's about SAHD's I feel insulted.
(BTW I added your logo to my Blog) Todd AKA "A Man Among Mommies" 49
May 01, 2008
Votes: +0
First, I am seriously ashamed to have the same first name as this lunatic lady who wishes to besmear the reputation of sAHDs everywhere with the outlandish article she wrote. I know none of the SAHD that I know have cheated or considered it. She needs to check facts, or stick to topics that she knows. For shame on her for trying to tarnish something as precious as a bond between children and their father. I applaud all - men & women - who take the nontraditional paths in l |
Remember that scene in Pulp Fiction where Brad talks in circles and Jules gets uber upset and shoots him? You know the Kahuna Burger scene? If you haven't seen Pulp Fiction I will set this up in terms so that you can understand. One party says something so ridiculous that it makes another second party hostile and super angry. Gun play ensues and the first party is quite dead while the second party is left unscathed from the fray. In this scenario I am Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) and Brad is 
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