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| Don’t Perpetuate, Deviate: Dads as Caregivers | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
*Caution: This article is meant to break down stereotypes. The generalities in this article I speak of is only to illustrate points and garner intelligent discussion, if at anytime you feel offended take one of these:
This article is about a topic that I have been silently pissed about for weeks/months as I read posts on numerous mom blogs that are basically bashing men as being inept childcare providers. I have read articles that straight up ask questions like if wives trust their husbands to watch their children. W-T-F? I would link to said articles however my point isn’t to chastise those who think this way, but to examine why this is. I have had a poll on the sidebar of my blog for 4-5 months that posed a simple question, “Who is better staying home?” Except for my multiple votes in the category of “Stay at Home Dads...Easily” the poll (which had over 150 unique participants) overwhelmingly showed that it depended on the parent. Undoubtedly, I had many more women vote on the poll considering I have a larger base of women readers (I attribute that fact to my incurable hotness and witty one-liners). So, here is where I get confused. If so many women think that men can be just as good at being caregivers why do they (as a group) constantly put down their spouse when it comes to childcare? Women seem (once again, as a group) bent on perpetuating the stereotype that women are inherently more suited for child care than men. Women often say their husband is “babysitting” when their husband is alone with the kids. What is that supposed to mean? I think there is a legitimate argument that can be made that shows why men can be better caregivers than women. I also think that the same can be said for women which only proves that the point is, at the very least, debatable. Below I have compiled a list of strengths each sex has (generally speaking) when it comes to child care:
Barriers to Active Fathering:Though men and women are equally capable of learning to care for babies, mothers often take the role of primary parent early on. There are a number of reasons this can happen —
Men need to rise above this oppression. Period. When women make blanket statements about their husbands being inadequate child care providers they are simply perpetuating a stereotype that has existed for way too long and by doing this they consequently pigeon hole themselves into the primary care giver role whether or not that is the best thing for their family. I believe that there are many benefits to being an “active father.” Some of these benefits are obvious while others are a bit more ambiguous. For instance, children with a strong, positive dad influence will develop a better sense of humor, they will be confident and they will be socially more adept and able to relate to a greater variety of people. Less obvious results of having an active dad in a child’s life are that these children will cope better with frustrations, these children will be ready and open to learn, discover and explore, and these children will be more sensitive to other people’s feelings. Dad’s properly modeling what ‘respect’ is cannot be underestimated. If a dad can show his sons how to treat women and how to have a successful relationship, this will start a cycle of respect and esteem in subsequent families. Also, if a father of daughters demonstrates for them a positive male role model and sets a standard for what to expect from their own male relations then it goes without saying that they will have higher expectations from the men in their lives. My rant is almost done. I don’t only call out women, but I also think men are part of the problem. For instance, in a recent article that highlights the short lived career of a knuckle headed stay-at-home-dad in England, the man spotlighted manages to not only throw a pie of disrespect in the face of women everywhere, but he also perpetuates the stereotype of the incapable father lost in the land women. I have to give Rebel Dad props for putting the link up to this article at his website. He rocks. So, in conclusion, I implore you moms out there not to continue this trend of ‘putting the dad down,’ and for you dads don’t put up with the label of being incompetent any longer and do something to change that perception. All You Gots to Do is Click            
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