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My Finest Work You Down With OPK? | You Down With OPK? | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
You may remember the rap tune that had the refrain "you down with OPP," well OPK is a carefully constructed acronym based off that same high-brow formula. Where OPP had a more licentious connotation, OPK is not even licentious in how you connote it. Word. Everyone keeps asking me, "Joeprah, what is OPK?" I personally can't stand the attention, but being a full-time genius means that sometimes you have to explain yourself. OPK - Other Peoples KidsOPK is the term that can be used by all those people in the world that on occasion (or more than that) take on the added responsibility of watching "other people's kids." We all do it from time to time and I have made some observations regarding this phenomenon. Poopies:Poopies from OPK are infinitely more stinky than anything that comes from the hind quarters of your little one. This fact isn't based on some kind of long winded algorithm or some proven hypothesis rather I made this supposition using my brain and common sense and guess what, that combo has mad skillz. Why are OPK poopies stinkier? Cause the smell different. Period. This topic is actually so important that I considered creating a post dedicated to this theme and title it OPKP, but I digress. Food Consumption:I have found that OPK consume more food than mine. Granted my kids eat like birds on a hunger strike, and I offer some of the finest chewy snacks and cut fruit around. My kids always seem disinterested in the food I dole out and OPK always eat my snacks like it is their last meal.
OPK and My Cabinets:OPK open my cabinets on a ratio of 324:1 times more often than my kids do. This is a significant find and is an absolute mathematical fact. I think that OPK are hoping to find some sort of Fruit Roll Up Land or a mythical toy depot behind one of my closed doors, but alas they are more likely to find mismatched plastic containers and Brillo pads. OPK never seemed disillusioned in their quests to open and reopen my cabinets and perhaps suffer from a childlike form of Alzheimer's as they always seem surprised to see my adult hand closing the cabinet as they open them. Behavior:This category can be separated into two distinct groups of OPK. The first group consists of OPK that are well behaved and or infants. This group regularly puts my kids to shame as they listen and use manners. The second group, what I like to call "Feral Children," seem like they jumped out of the pages of Lord of the Flies right into my family room. These "feral children" have distinct markings which always include: disheveled or calicky hair, eyes that can not focus on adults, and a bump on their forehead. "Feral children" will run into walls, lay on the floor and yell, and they will also talk really loudly. Parents:Parents also fall into distinct categories. There are the parents that always say thank you and offer to watch your kids in return and mean it, and then there are the parents that don't say thank you and only offer to watch your kids as a way to blackmail you into watching theirs again (none of these kids are currently in my rotation). A rough day with OPK is acceptable and forgotten as soon as you get a sincere "thank you."  I will watch OPK whenever my schedule allows for it and the OPK I enjoy seeing the most are my niece and nephew. The other day my youngest daughter and my niece and nephew all piled into my bike tag-along-pod-carrier as I pulled them up and down the neighborhood. Although my legs felt like rubber for week afterwards it was certainly worth it. So, in summation, watching OPK has its challenges and I recommend taking on this challenge from time to time as it will asuredly make you a stronger parent and person. Drive-thru. All You Gots to Do is Click            
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Very entertaining. OPK, I thought yall were trying to get pg! mXcomment 1.0.6 © 2007-2008 - visualclinic.fr
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