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| Picking a Winner | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
I want to send a shout out to 'Gail', a loyal reader, an educator and someone who isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes in most. Here is an email from her that explains what I mean:
In response to Gail's awesome email here is a repost of what many have called euporia defined. Enjoy.
**If you are squeamish or easily disturbed do not read this funny, well written masterpiece. **
I saw kids patrolling the olfactory region casually as if they were hoping to find an unwanted visitor all up in there. We will call them the patrollers. I saw kids more actively digging away like a fisherman who just hooked a decent sized fish. These kids would struggle trying to find the right angle of approach into the nose as their bodies contorted to match their determination. These kids were also done relatively quickly, within a minute or two. They were also wipers. They wiped on themselves, the floor and the desks. Their eyes were usually focused on the teacher or another kid as their booger holding, zombie arm indiscriminately wiped away. We will call these kids diggers. Patrollers can become diggers and diggers can become patrollers at a moments notice. I saw the full-time pickers. These kids were perpetually digging in their noses like they were a part of some kind of sick contest. They dug almost as if they had some kind of nervous disorder like a facial tic, but this condition required finger tip contact with the slimey interior of their nasal canal. These kids would look at their fingers almost constantly. This back and forth motion became dizzying to behold. In the nose. Out of the nose. Look at the finger. Wipe the finger. In the nose. Rinse and repeat. Phew! I thought I had seen it all, short of a kid putting a toe up their nose, there wasn’t anything else to see, right? Wrong. That’s when I saw it. I saw the mother of all pickers. This one came today in the midst of my father-in-law's performance. I saw an eater. This was no casual, “let me just sneak a taste when no one's looking” nose picker, this was a rabid, maniac nose picker. He, predictably a boy, could pick fast too. He was in and out like a jewel thief on coke. Nose to mouth. Nose to mouth. Nose to mouth. It was like watching an old lady pick a crab. If you have never seen that then picture an ape picking bugs off another ape. Quick, careful and hungry. Although my stomach was turning I couldn’t turn away. I was mesmerized. Thankfully, he ran out of ammunition or had filled up before I lost my lunch in the schools activity center. I wonder if you have seen this kind of behavior. Is your child an offender?
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I had to pass on a bit of news to my loyal readers about something very exciting in the land of Joeprah. It may not seem like a big deal to many, but for me--it's huge. I have a place on the Examiner.com as the National Fatherhood Examiner. What does that mean? It means I get to expose my smart ass self to a larger audience and as a bonus I get to champion common sense parenting for a large media outlet. I plan on delivering some articles from Joeprah on my National Fatherhood Blog, but I will also feature some articles there that can only be found there. This makes all those times that my wife was like, "Why can't you stop blogging tonight and watch (insert horrible chick flick title here, if you can't think of one Coyote Ugly will suffice) with me?" and I was all like, "Sorry, this is important." seem somewhat realistic. If you care to make my day/week/month/year, why don't you stop by my new home and say hi, you'll be glad you did.





Who is Joeprah? I am a stay at home dad to three daughters. I have an amazing wife and under the direction and encouragement of close friends I started this site over a year ago. You can follow me at The 
Today was an interesting day for me as I went to my daughters’ school.








