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| If I Had a Robot | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
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As many men are drawn to technology so too am I. I feel we have a desire to meet challenges with improvements based on inventions. Men, from those in the armed forces that customize their weapons (see Delta Forces, awesome) to Pee Wee Herman and his house of horrors, all look to find a better way. Now parenting, as we know, has its challenges, what with all the cooking, cleaning and child care, so wouldn't it be nice to have a tool to help us in our pursuit of peace of mind? If I had a robot I would program it to not only shoot lasers at invaders, zombified or otherwise, I would also, most certainly, have my robot programmed to aid me around the house. I am sure you are tired of being viewed by your offspring as "the enforcer" so the first thing to do would be to retrofit your robot with a paddle.
 Robots, like all things that are totally awesome, are super customizable. It is really difficult to say how I would begin to program my robot but I know that it would have a vacuum for a tail and its feet would be made out of self cleaning &drying mops. Note: I tried to implement a similar technique with my youngest child by attaching dust rags to her clothes as she crawled, but I soon realized that her clothes worked just as good. What else are you sick of doing? Make the robot do it. I am sick and tired of having to go into the cabinet and get a plate to eat my food over. My kids seem to think the plate is a launching pad for food, and the foods destination should be the floor, why not me? I would put the robot on "dog mode" and let it clean as I ate. Changing Diapers? Not anymore. My robot would be programmed to eat diapers and process them in its internal incinerator. The vacuum tail would be used to clean off all "Changing Diapers? Not anymore. My robot would be programmed to eat diapers and process them in its internal incinerator." remainders from the babies bottom (pretty well thought out, huh?) and the mop feet could clean those hard to reach places. The possibilities are limitless. I would let my wife continue in her pursuit of chores on the weekends, its good for her, plus I would remain steadfast about my desire to cook, except of course when it was the robots turn (see Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday). What would your robot do? Think about it.
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