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The Mildew Load: Unstoppable | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Thursday April 3, 2008
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*Note: This article is amazing.  Both Adobe Premier Elements (you'll see) and Viacom tried to stop its creation, and both were unsuccessful.  Recognize.*

Sometimes a family gets going at like a million miles an hour and sometimes said family can forget to complete certain chores.  Sometimes chores go undone altogether.  Families are like that. What with school, after school activities, athletic practices, dance practices, birthdays, games on the weekends, and requisite visits to family and friends houses it's really a miracle that anything gets done in Joeprah's house.  There are times though when these elements are combined with other forces, natural forces, in what can only be called a perfect storm .  Its kinda like a TV weather guy dancing around talking about low pressure systems and sub-tropical lows moving up the coast, except replace those with PMS and a husband desperately in need of a minute to relax.  See animated Gif below for more help. 

 

The Mildew Load Gif
 
 Now that brings us to today's topic: The Mildew Load. The mildew load has many names in many households. I have heard folks call it the "perpetual load," some people refer to this in verb like fashion saying things like, "I funked a load."  No matter what you call it--it stinks, quite literally.  What a "mildew load" is, is when you wash a load of laundry and forget about it...until it rears its ugly head via the unmistakable stench of mildew.  We all start a mildew load with the best intentions: freshly cleaned and folded wearables, but, somehow, that train of freshness gets derailed somewhere between 15 motrins and a poorly timed-can't miss-important-televised sporting event (and or beer). My wife, being sadistic in nature, likes to take the offensiveness of a mildew load to a higher level by drying said "funked" loads. The resulting product is very much so south of cheese.  These clothes smell like B.O. mixed with cat pee (or any other smell that encourages the gag reflex). 
 
The mildew load is an issue that requires purification--envision exercising a demon. I take on the challenge of the Mildew Load like a scientist/priest.  I use bleach like holy water but only in exact scientific-like amounts.  All that aside, the first step in any problem is to recognize there is one. 
 
Step 1
 
The Second Step in any problem (or perhaps only this one) is to remove the nasty laundry from the washing machine.
 
Step 2: Mildew Load
 
Notice how my wfie mixed all those colors together in that load.  Like a rainbow.  I love her.  Now that the laundry is out of the washer it's time to refresh the washing machine--this is step 3.  I have a pinpoint system aimed at refreshing the offended washer and since step 3 is so extensive I have a video tutorial below aimed to educate and entertain, I like to call this edu-tainment.  
 
 
 
Step 3 is the last step.  Now, all you need to do is wash the clothes again...maybe twice.  Does anyone need instruction on how to do the laundry proper like?  Have you ever "funked" a load?  
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Users' Comments (1) RSS feed comment
Posted by Loomis2, on Wednesday May 28, 2008 , , Registered
I'm glad you had that video, cause "A whole mess of Clorox" to me means a heck of a lot more than you put in. But now I know, and know is half the power...something, something.
 
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Joeprah Who is Joeprah?  I am a stay at home dad to three daughters.  I have an amazing wife, and under the direction and encouragement of close friends, I started this site over a year ago.  You can follow me at The Examiner.com, Twitter, Stumble Upon and Cre8BuzzRead more...

 

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