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| The Mildew Load: Unstoppable | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
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*Note: This article is amazing. Both Adobe Premier Elements (you'll see) and Viacom tried to stop its creation, and both were unsuccessful. Recognize.* Sometimes a family gets going at like a million miles an hour and sometimes said family can forget to complete certain chores. Sometimes chores go undone altogether. Families are like that. What with school, after school activities, athletic practices, dance practices, birthdays, games on the weekends, and requisite visits to family and friends houses it's really a miracle that anything gets done in Joeprah's house. There are times though when these elements are combined with other forces, natural forces, in what can only be called a perfect storm . Its kinda like a TV weather guy dancing around talking about low pressure systems and sub-tropical lows moving up the coast, except replace those with PMS and a husband desperately in need of a minute to relax. See animated Gif below for more help.
 Now that brings us to today's topic: The Mildew Load. The mildew load has many names in many households. I have heard folks call it the "perpetual load," some people refer to this in verb like fashion saying things like, "I funked a load." No matter what you call it--it stinks, quite literally. What a "mildew load" is, is when you wash a load of laundry and forget about it...until it rears its ugly head via the unmistakable stench of mildew. We all start a mildew load with the best intentions: freshly cleaned and folded wearables, but, somehow, that train of freshness gets derailed somewhere between 15 motrins and a poorly timed-can't miss-important-televised sporting event (and or beer). My wife, being sadistic in nature, likes to take the offensiveness of a mildew load to a higher level by drying said "funked" loads. The resulting product is very much so south of cheese. These clothes smell like B.O. mixed with cat pee (or any other smell that encourages the gag reflex). The mildew load is an issue that requires purification--envision exercising a demon. I take on the challenge of the Mildew Load like a scientist/priest. I use bleach like holy water but only in exact scientific-like amounts. All that aside, the first step in any problem is to recognize there is one.  The Second Step in any problem (or perhaps only this one) is to remove the nasty laundry from the washing machine.  Notice how my wfie mixed all those colors together in that load. Like a rainbow. I love her. Now that the laundry is out of the washer it's time to refresh the washing machine--this is step 3. I have a pinpoint system aimed at refreshing the offended washer and since step 3 is so extensive I have a video tutorial below aimed to educate and entertain, I like to call this edu-tainment. Step 3 is the last step. Now, all you need to do is wash the clothes again...maybe twice. Does anyone need instruction on how to do the laundry proper like? Have you ever "funked" a load?
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Comments (33)
 
I am guilty of funk. I've done the re-wash thing and it doesn't work. I'm even guilty of the sniff-check and deciding maybe the dryer heat will kill the funk only to discover later some foul smelling washcloth in the drawer. Bleach and vinager...yes, I should have been able to figure that out on my own. My family will appreciate your funk saving tips.
1
June 01, 2008
Votes: +0
In my current state of complete boredom and avoidance of the laundry room, I'm here, desperate....reading your old posts. This one at least. And it was a funny one. I had found a stinker last night. A load that somehow slipped by. phew. I've never bleached the washer, I just wash 'em again and the smell goes away, at least I think it does?? Brilliant tutorial there Joe.
2
May 29, 2008
Votes: +0
okay, this is hilarious.
so glad you visited me on my blog....and that i have started to figure out how to navigate yours! all the colors in one load cracks me up...wow! :grin 3
April 30, 2008
Votes: +0
Hahaha! This scenario is all too familiar. Any time I do it, I really do have the best intentions of running the whole cycle all the way through, but sometimes you forget. I usually just re-wash the clothes, but apparently, there's a whole series of steps...Hmmm...Still learning...
4
April 11, 2008
Votes: +0
We're more the leave the crayon/chapstick/pen in the load kind of family. But we've funked too.
5
April 11, 2008
Votes: +0
Ha! Laundry is what I'm supposed to be doing right now! When my husband asks why he doesn't have clean underwear, I'm totally blaming you.
6
April 07, 2008
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I am THE QUEEN of Load Funking...and laundry is the bane of my existence.
7
April 07, 2008
Votes: +0
Thanks for all the vinegar tips on the mildew laundry. I'm the one who gave Joe the bleach advice years ago. Sorry Joe. :x I got that advice from Grandmom....notice how neatly I got out of that one! :p Bleach does eat clothes faster than starving moths. I can hardly wait for my next mildew load to try the vinegar....ha! :grin
8
April 07, 2008
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OMG! I laughed so hard. I've got a funked load in my washer right now! :grin I keep ignoring it, hoping it will go away.
9
April 07, 2008
Votes: +0
Yes, I too have done this a time or two. I however decided not to re-wash said clothes, but put them in the dryer. Boy was I in trouble when my wife put on her 'clean' shirt the next day. Ugh.
10
April 05, 2008
Votes: +0
:eek I hate those funked loads! TBSP Baking soda, 2 cups vinegar takes care of it. Too funny - love the video!
11
April 05, 2008
Votes: +0
The other day I waited FOREVER to wait for the dryer to finish it's cycle so I could throw the newly washed clothes in before they went to funky town. When they were FINALLY finished I opened the dryer only to discover I was drying nothing. My bad.
12
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
I agree with NukeDad,
Doggie or cat peepee mixed with towels is NOT good. We have an animal sanctuary, so we have lots of everything needing to be washed daily. The volume of laundry helps us to NEVER leave loads in the washer anymore, so I guess that is a blessing in disguise. And vinegar ROCKS! Plus, it's safer than bleach. I started laughing when I read your intro note and kept laughing all through the comments. This is just what I needed today so Thank You! Shame on Viacom & Photoshop for causing you trouble. Maybe they're hormonal like Hot Wife. Gotta go wash another load! 15
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
Mildew has no time to form in my laundry. When you've got a small army I can't afford to skip a laundry day. No loads are forgotten.
16
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
Hubby is forbidden to do laundry because he ALWAYS funks the load. Drives me bananas having to wash the same load a ba-zillion times.
17
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
I 'funk' a load of laundry almost weekly... I have mentioned before that I hate doing laundry?
18
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
Unfortunately I am well acquainted with the "funked" load. I like that by the way, you should think about trademarking thing. And I was very surprised to see that your wife (a woman, no less!:x ) would mix colors like that. My husband does that.
Maybe it's because they work outside of the home... 19
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
:grin I've had quite a few loads that I had to beat down with a 7 Iron just to hold back the funk that came out of the washer. The 7 Iron is my best club so it usually saves me from a bad lie.
20
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
you are hilarious. i loved the weather man thing the best. cracked me up! hey, i saw somebody signed in as "mama bear." that wasn't me. so from now on, i guess i will have to sign your notes with "alaskan mama bear"!! he he
happy friday, kathleen 21
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
Really? You don't know this already?
*cracks knuckles* Dude. You wash the load again, on hot, with a shitton of VINEGAR. Maybe some oxyclean if you've got it, but just vinegar will do. Wash it again with a bit of vinegar added with your laundry soap and voila! No more mold. Also works on bathroom ceiling and on the upholstry in the car you hardly drive after someone left the sunroof open on a rainy week.  22
April 04, 2008
Votes: +0
I loved the video.
 The credits were really funny, especially the unexpected list of things you kill. As for funk, yeah, I done it. Since the new front loaders are more forgiving (less water), it happens less often now. Plus it beeps when it's done. 23
April 04, 2008
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:grin
I have lots of mildew loads in my house!! Funniness!! Love that weather man, how'd you do that?? 24
April 04, 2008
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I just did a post like this a few weeks ago (see here). I have definitely funked a few loads in my day. Don't judge me too harshly if you visit my link- I was having a bad week!
25
April 03, 2008
Votes: +0
Hey- I just did that about 5 minutes ago, with a load from... 2 days ago. Sigh. :eek
Great blog! Come visit me, if you'd like: http://mommeeandherboys.blogspot.com 26
April 03, 2008
Votes: +0
You are quite welcome, I think this problem is pretty much universal, although our family is proficient at creating "funky" smelling clothes and we could, if asked, probably win a gold medal for it. :roll
27
April 03, 2008
Votes: +0
Hey Joeprah,
You don't even need the baking soda or bleach (as much as I like a good science experiment.) I just add a cup of white vinegar to the wash and run it again (detergent, too.) It works great. I'd avoid the bleach even though it's germ killing powers are LEGEND. If you mess up Hot Wife's stuff she's gonna be hot in a way you're not gonna like. Just looking after your butt dude. 28
April 03, 2008
Votes: +0
Haha...I have never (read: YET) left a load in the washer for more than a day. So, I just open it up, squirt in some liquid detergent, and hit the button. That works for me.
I have however, put wet clothes/towels in the dryer and forgotten to start the dryer. But, either me or hubby notices a few hours later when we reach in to get something. So how often do you exercise demons? Do they prefer step aerobics or tae bo? lol Just teasing. 29
April 03, 2008
Votes: +0
Joeprah, you read my mind! I just "funked" a load a few days ago. I'm not quite as bad as your wife, in that I don't just dry the smelly clothes (ewwww). But I'm not quite as good as you either, because I don't even bother taking them out of the washer. I just set it on rinse, and let 'em go! If it's REALLY bad, I'll add more detergent and put them in for a full on cycle.
BTW, thank you for giving this problem a name! Up until now, I've simply referred to it as "Aw man! The laundry reeks!" Usually followed by obsenities. 30
April 03, 2008
Votes: +0
:zzz I check your directions. When we get a Mildew Load we just redo the load adding 1 c. white vinegar, color safe bleach (Clorox) soap, and some baking soda.
Does the trick. Also kills that odor that comes home from Boy Scout campouts. Don't shave I like the goatee, but it is up to the wife, you need to treat her right. And thanks for the spiritual support, he means more than you can know right now. 31
April 03, 2008
Votes: +0
Been there, DO that. You'd think I'd learn. The worst is when it's the old towels we use for the puppies crates. Mildew & dog pee; those words should never collide in a sentence, let alone a washing machine.
32
April 03, 2008
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