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Blog The Blog Child Rearing Picking a Winner | Picking a Winner | | Print | |
| Written by Joeprah | |
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I want to send a shout out to 'Gail', a loyal reader, an educator and someone who isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes in most. Here is an email from her that explains what I mean:
In response to Gail's awesome email here is a repost of what many have called euporia defined. Enjoy.
**If you are squeamish or easily disturbed do not read this funny, well written masterpiece. **
I saw kids patrolling the olfactory region casually as if they were hoping to find an unwanted visitor all up in there. We will call them the patrollers. I saw kids more actively digging away like a fisherman who just hooked a decent sized fish. These kids would struggle trying to find the right angle of approach into the nose as their bodies contorted to match their determination. These kids were also done relatively quickly, within a minute or two. They were also wipers. They wiped on themselves, the floor and the desks. Their eyes were usually focused on the teacher or another kid as their booger holding, zombie arm indiscriminately wiped away. We will call these kids diggers. Patrollers can become diggers and diggers can become patrollers at a moments notice. I saw the full-time pickers. These kids were perpetually digging in their noses like they were a part of some kind of sick contest. They dug almost as if they had some kind of nervous disorder like a facial tic, but this condition required finger tip contact with the slimey interior of their nasal canal. These kids would look at their fingers almost constantly. This back and forth motion became dizzying to behold. In the nose. Out of the nose. Look at the finger. Wipe the finger. In the nose. Rinse and repeat. Phew! I thought I had seen it all, short of a kid putting a toe up their nose, there wasn’t anything else to see, right? Wrong. That’s when I saw it. I saw the mother of all pickers. This one came today in the midst of my father-in-law's performance. I saw an eater. This was no casual, “let me just sneak a taste when no one's looking” nose picker, this was a rabid, maniac nose picker. He, predictably a boy, could pick fast too. He was in and out like a jewel thief on coke. Nose to mouth. Nose to mouth. Nose to mouth. It was like watching an old lady pick a crab. If you have never seen that then picture an ape picking bugs off another ape. Quick, careful and hungry. Although my stomach was turning I couldn’t turn away. I was mesmerized. Thankfully, he ran out of ammunition or had filled up before I lost my lunch in the schools activity center. I wonder if you have seen this kind of behavior. Is your child an offender?
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Comments (5)
 
This is the first time in my life that I am gagging and laughing at the same time.....That was hysterical.....Mine were definitely pickers/wipers......if they were ever eaters God was good to me and never let me find out about it.
Thanks for stopping by and reading about my "pigs"....Pigs that are no longer pickers.  1
April 09, 2008
Votes: +0
LOL! my boys are both "Lingerers" There fingers sit in the nostril for what seems like hours. I think they are plugging it up so all that nasty doesn't come running out. That's the only thing i can figure!
2
March 25, 2008
Votes: +0
Ewwwww! LOL--I thought this was funny but I had to divert my eyes while reading so I could shake off the visual of eating one's --- yuck I can't even finish! :p
3
March 25, 2008
Votes: +0
:grin Monk? Very entertaining. He requires an assistant, solves crimes and is a germ-a-phobe with OCD whats not to like? LOL!
4
March 20, 2008
Votes: +0
Brady was an eater and it freaked me out. His booger eating began my Germ Warfare parenting streak. I was pretty careful about issues I imagined would land him bemoaning my parenting on a shrinks couch, but fear of him staying a booger eater made me forget that I shouldn't turn him into Monk. I lectured him every time his finger strayed to his nose and washed his hands "so you won't get germs" every time. This broke him of it. For weeks afterward he asked about germs. I was afraid I'd given him a complex, and felt bad, until he started the serious butt scratching. Monk isn't so bad, is he?
5
March 20, 2008
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Today was an interesting day for me as I went to my daughters’ school.
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