So, it has been decided. Tonight at USTREAM I held a live drawing to decide who won the Sony Cyber-shot digital camera give-away. With 365 entries to the contest from over 70 entrants the contest was, dare I say, a big deal. My three daughters aided me in the drawing. The youngest shook the bag holding all the names of those entered in the contest, my middle child picked the winner, and my eldest read the name of the winner. Who won?
The Winner:
Congratulations to Loomis2!!! Loomis entered a scant '3' times and somehow pulled out the camera.
Thanks
Thanks to all of you who entered the contest. Your participation has pretty much locked that I will be able to give away some more awesome stuff, so stay tuned--k? If you do stay tuned you will be treated to awesome videos of my adorable girls being goofy and funny, hilarious articles (I am so serious) and much, much more. Look around and check out what Joeprah is about if you are a new subscriber. Read, watch and interact. Word.
Here is a list of the folks entered in the Sony Cyber-shot give-away thus far. You are all now mortal enemies. Take a good look at this list. Find your name and make sure you are down for the correct amount of entries. For instance, if you already area subscriber of Joeprah and you weren't given credit for the 3 subscriber entries--let me know. If you disagree with the amount of entries I have you down for, let me know and I will update it. Thanks!
I am in the process of retooling my site a bit and I will be adding some new features along with some of the changes. Some exciting stuff is about to be added that will make the Joeprah experience perhaps even more mediocre than before. I am obvious stoked.
The Galleries
Loomis, a Joeprah user, came up with a fantastic suggestion. Why not allow Joeprah users the privildege of uploading their own personal photos into the new "Gallery" section of Joeprah? I thought about it, and it was such a great idea that I took action--immediately. I will be creating more galleries for any registered user to upload into, but currently there is a section for "Summer Fun I," "Family Pictures I," "Pictures of You I," and "Your Best Work I." To access the galleries to upload into them, simply click on the "My Galleries" link at the top right of the Gallery Section at Joeprah (it can be found here). Uploading should be fairly self-explanatory, but that being said I am sure some folks may need assistance. If you do have problems...enter my next update.
The Forum
I have installed a new forum component. You can go the forum either at its direct link here or by visiting the forum via Joeprah.com itself. If you have any tech questions in regards to using any of the features at Joeprah.com simply go to the forum and enter your questions there. If you are a blogger and want to show of your blog or you have questions regarding blogging, check out the section in the forum dedicated to all things blog related. If you are parent seeking an outlet to vent, or ask advice of other parents on how to deal with some parenting topics that are currently confounding you, check out the section dedicated to that. There are some social sections in the forum and I hope it takes on a life of its own. If you want any new sections or if you want to be a moderator--inquire within. Basically, go, post, and interact. It should be off-da-hook. Awesome.
In addition to all my normal robust and amazingly trivial posts, I am going to post news stories, political windfalls, and or basically anything that stirs the pot so to speak that I think my readers would be interested in adding their two cents to. I would like get folks involved so they can speak their minds, find out what other people think and more or less stay informed. To kick things off in this section I would like to see what people think about this news story (I know it is a few days old, but it is still worth exploring).
The Independence Day Contest
I have been uber swamped lately and I didn't post an update, but I wanted to let those folks still in contention know where they stand as we head down the stretch. Amazingly, there has been some changes to the leaderboard. The top three bloggers up until today are:
Kim, has made some huge strides as of late and the last few days will prove to be pivotal. Some advice; digg, stumble and otherwise promote your remaining blog posts...any sort of exposure will be key. Best of luck and I can't wait to annouce the winner. At the end of the contest, I will spread link love through the valley of blogger-dom. It will be a fantastic celebration and truly there were no losers.
Newsletter
I am about to release my July Newsletter with some exciting results on how much money I made during the month of June and how I went about doing so. Are you as anxious to find out the BuzzFuse results as I am? Word.
I am leaving for Atlanta today to participate in a video shoot. Yep, you heard that right. Me. Video shoot. I am working with Graco on a great project along with some other bloggers. The project will be off the hook, by in large due to my participation, and as soon as I have time I will post all the details of both my trip and the actually project itself.
In My Stead
Over the next couple of days I leave you in the willing and capable digits of one Pete J from MyGpsCameraPhone. Pete is a close bloggy friend of mine and I trust him like I trust myself (see not very much at all). He will continue the tradition of Joeprah by delivering mediocre content. Mediocre, which Pete will assuredly exceed, will actually be a step up, so you may be begging for Pete to stay on full-time.
Contest Winner
I didn't forget. I used my webcam this morning to tape the drawing and I used one of my daughters to choose the winner. The video wouldn't upload although I tried as hard as one man can to upload it. I feel Blip.Tv was afraid of its intrinsic awesomeness, which is understandable. Anyways, you are going to have to trust me when I say that the winner was Smoochie Frog. I will post the video someday...as long as Blip allows for amazing videos to see the light of day. As for the next contest, I will post the details either when I return on Thursday or next Monday. Stay tuned as I have some amazing stuff to give away over the course of the next few weeks. I am totally serious.
I think everyone that reads my blog is a super star to some degree. First, they have put up with how quirky it is. Slow page loading times (a thing of the past I hope, see next post) and obnoxious colors--not to mention how stuck on myself (rightly so) I am. So, if you are reading this, take a bow. Now, there are some elite Joeprah followers that not only stomach my daily diatribe, but they actually think it to be noteworthy--so noteworthy in fact, that they have deemed it acceptable to don me with awards. I would like to call these folks "Super-Dee-Duper-Stars." First, I got a really cool mention from Penny over at Cafe at the End of the Universe, then HuckDoll, this was followed by Christine at Serenity How recognizing my awesomeness, and, to top it off, not one but two awards. Now, these award givers have crazy good taste and I'm just saying, "They're right to acknowledge my smooth ways." There is this rockin' award from Rachel at A Southern Fairy Tale:
It is totally homemade and really cool because it has the tell tale pinkness of a mom blog. And not to be outdone, we have Tara from If Mommy Says Ok dropping some more hardware on ol' Joeprah:
I just wanted to say "You're Right," to everyone that took time to write about me on their blogs and for correctly noticing how insanely amazing I am. Thanks! Carry on.
In this section of Joeprah you will be whisked away to all the side splitting posts that made this site what it is. Videos, photos, articles--this stuff is just funny.
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Want to particpate in debates on hot news stories or political issues? Check out what people are talking about today. Vote, comment, and otherwise be heard.
I have opinions on all things--especially products. Check out my newest section to see what owns and what doesn't--according to Joeprah.
Kids like to draw on walls. Toddlers especially have a penchant for this type of graffiti, it is a fact. As for me, I have a toddler daughter that likes to scribble remedial drawings throughout our house. Perhaps, more than anywhere else, she enjoys defacing her room. I read a post at Sarcastic Mom sometime ago where she was talked about being a crayon Nazi . Although I feel her pain, I would have to say my pain is more permanent in nature. I can only wonder if she will have to deal with some of the same issues I have over the tenure of the last two years with our third child. She is absolutely a whirlwind. She gathers up magic markers like a prisoner pilfering contraband. When she was still in the diaper I caught her trafficking a Crayola purple magic marker on her way to "nap-time." The worst part about the entire, "I am going to draw all over everything including myself," mentality is that she is so cute. Like the Italian mafia, you never knew you were marked for a hit since they killed you with a smile. My daughter, who is part Italian, exhibits some of this brilliance as she often distracts me with giggles and smiles that are warm enough to melt the polar ice caps. I am not calling my daughter evil or a hitman, but in a way she targets me with her cuteness like a goon targets an informer with his tommygun. These distractions have lead to many incidents, like the time when she colored her body...almost completely, and the infamous magic-marker-red-chair-extravaganza.
Well, enough with the rant. Here is video proof of my daughter's wanton destructive capabilities. Enjoy!
Have your kids done anything ridiculous with markers, crayons, pen...paint...anything? Do tell.
Tiger Woods, I am convinced, is either one of three things A) an alien from outer space, B) the Devil, or C) the single most talented athlete the world has ever seen. It is stupid how this guy rolls. Did anyone see the third round coverage of the US Open? Tiger was obviously laboring through the round as he continues to recover from a recent knee surgery and somehow this guy turns in a miraculous birdie on 17 and a stupid/crazy/amazing eagle on 18. If you don't know anything about golf...trust me, this guy is on another planet. He has the 54 hole lead at the Open and he clearly playing on one good leg. Check the video if you don't believe me.
I have met many folks who have kids and all but two had issues keeping their cars clean. If you go a week without picking up your car/mini van/SUV you will start to feel crowded. That's not extreme and that's not Joeprah. I like to let things go until I can't concentrate on the road, until the smell is beyond offensive and the source of said smell can't be found. I like to wait until some objects that used to smell are now just petrified former examples of themselves. I like to let things compost a bit in my mini van. So, I put together a video of what can happen to your vehicle as a parent or other wise if you let things accumulate.
If you like this post, rate it and comment it over at BuzzFuse so I can get paid. Word.
Dads everywhere know what I’m talking about when I say that children around the ages of 2-3 reach critical mass in the height department.Once a child reaches “junk” height they become a danger to dads, uncles and granddads alike.The amount of pain they inflict on an adult male can only be described as shocking.Toddlers are the perfect weapon.
Why are they the perfect weapon?
They have little to no conscience
Their heads are large in comparison to their bodies thus causing them to lean forward when they run
They run constantly
They are very difficult to get angry at
They attack without notice
Some people think toddlers are cute and I agree—for the most part.But what many people fail to acknowledge is that each toddler has a dark side.Toddlers alone aren’t difficult to handle, but rarely do they inflict mortal damage on a guy’s satchel without an accomplice.Toddler’s accomplices come in all shapes and sizes.An accomplice can be someone who simply deters a man’s attention away from a toddler long enough for them to get a head start and barrel into their mid-section.Some accomplices are inanimate objects like the television or an open refrigerator.Toddlers can sense a distracted male like sharks smelling blood in the open ocean.Refer to video:
So, if you are familiar with Joeprah and my constant pursuit of equality in this screwed up society we live in, you will remember I was denied access to a neighborhood wine club simply because I have a penis. It was an ovary only club and my first reaction was, of course, anger. That night (after being turned away) I burned some of my wife's bras, sunk into a deep depression that lasted until the next morning when I had some chocolate milk (it always cheers me up) and began to analyze the topic to death (here). But, like any true warrior, I did not accept the ladies denying me as ultimate failure. I fought through it. I found myself my own group of fellas that could stand me long enough to sit down and have a few glasses of wine with yours truly. I fought fire with fire so to speak. The results? Well, let's just check the tape shall we...
Clearly, they were wrong to keep me out of their club. Why turn away all that I have to offer? Senseless if you ask me.
Special thanks to the following assistant editors:
In this episode, Professor Toddler visits the world of music to bring us another word in "toddlerese." Sit back and enjoy another cute video courtesy of Team Joeprah.
Here is a fun video I took yesterday with the "Hot Wife." She really, really, really hates being on camera and I think it really is undetectable. She looks really pretty here (as usual). Happy Mother's Day (again). You are the best!
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