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Society and Me
Happy Father’s Day You Lazy Alcoholic | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Saturday June 14, 2008
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Is this what society is saying to dads across America?  The answer seems to be a resounding yes.  If you have been shopping for a Father’s Day card for your husband/father/father-in-law you may have had to sift through the less than flattering clichés cards that portray dads in a none too favorable light.  Moms have to deal with cliché cards too, but theirs aren’t based on them being horrible people.  According to the cards, moms cook, clean, have rollers in their hair, juggle many things at once, and eat chocolate.  Dads on the other hand are very different.  According to the greeting cards I surveyed this year, dads are poor caregivers, drink in excess, constantly golf and or fish, pass gas constantly, grill food 24/7, seldom leave the cozy confines of their couch except to spend hours in the bathroom, and if they ever get lost on the way to the bathroom they never ever ask for directions. 

It’s like my mother-in-law in her generalization of me as a “big time fishermen.”  I have literally went fishing a handful of times in the sixteen years we have known each other but somehow that gets me a fishing trinket from her on days such as Father’s Day.  Using that logic I should really be getting gangster-rap T-shirts because I probably have actually listened to and liked six rap songs in that same time frame—which would decisively trump fishing as my bigger hobby. 

This whole “dads can’t do anything right” label is played.  It’s like domestic Swiss cheese—it just doesn’t make sense.  Enough’s enough already.  I know a lot of dads.  Of all the dads I have ever known in my life, I can’t think of more than like three that deserve some of these cliché cards.  One guy is divorced, another is in jail (but still not a bad guy), and another is a larger man that just has issues controlling his gas.  Does this make us all monsters?  Trust me; I like a good fart joke as much as the next guy and I think bodily functions are enthralling and comical on many levels.  I just don’t endorse the idea of buying a card, which is supposed to celebrate your father, which shows a lady with a gas mask on the front. 

I want some pregnancy cards to be released that say things like, “Congratulations You Smelly Cow,” or “Hemorrhoids are Nasty and So is Your Pregnant Gas.”   Pregnant ladies let gas pass like they are in some sick contest, well at least the ones I have met.  They are burping, farting, food devourers that mostly fall asleep, with their pants unzipped, in front of the TV.  Give a pregnant woman a beer and a roll of duct tape and there is your Father’s Day cliché.  Alas, according to Carlton Cards, she will at least ask for directions on her way to the ER.   

If you don’t trust me, I took a video camera with me into a local Target and Hallmark store to see what was out there.  The Hallmark store scored well in my opinion, where as the Target failed.  They had the fart cards, the lazy TV watching beer drinker cards, and the plethora of golfing cards.  Roll the tape!

 
What are your thoughts?  Are dads portrayed unfairly in the media as well as greeting cards?  Do pregnant women pass gas?  What is domestic Swiss cheese?  Vote and be heard.
 
 
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Equality in Education: Boys > Girls | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Monday June 2, 2008
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Girls Going To SchoolIt was assumed that men were just better than women at math and science, but a recent study suggests that the lovely ladies are equally equipped to dominate at these subjects.  A study, led in part by Kellogg School of Management Professor Paola Sapienza looked at over data from over 276,000 students in over 40 countries.  What were the results?  In a nutshell the study suggest that what we have come to believe about the differences in male and female inherent aptitudes can be discarded.  

For instance, the data from US schools showed that boys performed nearly 10% better than girls in areas like math and science.  That 10% disparity is actually the average gap worldwide between the genders.  The study also showed that US girls had to deal with the 23rd ranked GGI (gender gap index).  Being 23rd isn't anything to brag about since it placed the US in the lower half of the countries in the study.  The GGI is an important focus of the study.  The study points to the Index and makes a strong case that there is a direct correlation between the GGI and gender aptitude. 

Here is how the genders have been perceived for years:  Boys have a greater spatial awareness, which is just part of being boy (you know, built into our awesome boy brains), while girls are better equipped to read because of their legendary verbal recall skills (y’all gossip).   

These notions are now being scrutinized thanks to the recent study.  The study showed as equality increased in societies so too did the test results.  In countries with high GGI scores, like Iceland, Norway and Sweden, girls performed as well or better than their male counterparts in the areas of math and science. 

Not only did average girls’ scores improve as equality improved, but the number of girls reaching the highest levels of performance also increased.

The study wasn’t absolutely consistent as countries like Germany with high GGI scores showed a gender gap in math/science aptitude.  Also, the gender gap was more profound in favor of girls in the reading department in countries with high GGI’s.  On average, the test does show that when women are given equal opportunities in education they succeed at the same rate as men.

Do these test results surprise anyone?  Why is the US in the middle of the pack?  What does this say for the US?  Did you know that in the US, women still make 80 cents to every $1.00 a man makes.  Do you feel that girls are given the same amount of opportunities as boys?  Does our society still treat men and women differently?

 

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Teens Steal 9-Year-Old's Girl Scout Money | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Thursday May 29, 2008
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I'm not positive, but I believe both these girls think they are Paris Hilton.  This is pretty screwed up. 

You think that video is bad, check this video interviewing the criminals a bit further:

What do you think about these crazy teens?  Is it the parents or the kids (as if I didn't know the answer)?  

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You're Fired: This Teacher Deserves It | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Tuesday May 27, 2008
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Alex BartonWhat does a teacher need to do to get fired these days?  Well let’s see that this teacher gets the boot.  In Port St. Lucie, Florida a kindergarten class, under the direction of their teacher, voted to kick a boy out of their class.  Alex Barton was voted out of the class by a margin of 14-2.  The reasons cited for voting Alex out of the class ranged from the fact that he was “annoying” to "disgusting."

 

First, kindergartners shouldn’t be doing a Survivor style vote and second, Alex may have Asperger’s.  Can anyone say "lawsuit?"  Asperger’s Syndrome is a form of autism, a high-functioning form, but a form nonetheless it would make Alex react differently than the average child in social settings.  So what better way to initiate him into our society than vote the poor kid out of his kindergarten class? 

This just sucks.  I'm not sure how those involved in the special-ed department couldn’t be at fault here as well.  The special-ed staff are the ones that monitor his IEP (individual education plan) and they should have mentioned to the teacher that singling him out socially was a ‘bad idea.’   They also should have told the teacher, “Oh, don’t go and do anything stupid, like vote him out of the class.  K?  Thanks!”  Totally.  Here are some other bad ideas.

What happened to Alex after he was voted out of the class?  Well, he spent the rest of the day in the nurse’s office, and he hasn’t been back to school since.  Apparently, he screams at the prospect of returning to the place.   Go figure.   

You're Fired!

Do you need reasons to fire the teacher? Alright:

  •  To inflict some retribution – You humiliated a kid, so let’s humiliate you
  • Send a message – Let the other teachers know that doing something this stupid isn’t tolerated, or else the next teacher may make a blind student walk into the teachers’ lounge to get the coffee pot.
  • Show them who is the real learning disabled individual – Asperger kids have it tough and get picked on, but in spite of all that, Alex should be proud he is nowhere near as socially inept as this dolt.
  • It’s the right thing to do – if you combine all the answers above, you can see that it just makes sense to can this misguided educator before she can do more damage.

What do you think?  What should happen to the teacher?  Is firing enough?  

 

 

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Exterminator Protocol | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Tuesday May 13, 2008
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ProtocolSo, tomorrow I have an exterminator coming out to look at our ant problem.  We have ants, not many and not the big ones.  We have little annoying ants.  For the first three years in our new house I was able to battle them tooth and claw and I was always able to mount a superior defense (allbeit temporary) against these little buggers using my trusty caulk gun and bug spray.  When they would come in for the next attack I was always able to find out how and stop them cold.  You know the dad in the movie "Christmas Story?"  How fanatical he was with fuses?  That's me and bugs.  I hate them: they hate me.  It is fated.  Ying and the yang.  Anyways, tomorrow I have finally relented and called in back-up as I can't find the source of how the ants are A) getting in and B) staying in.  I caulked everywhere I could think of.  I even used that spray foam insulation in the basement. You know the stuff that is so friggin' strong that if you get it on your skin you can just kiss that skin goodbye.  Anyways, the ants won.  I lost.  I give them credit but I will take much pleasure in their demise.  Much. 
Here's the strange thing, I feel somehow emasculated in asking some other dude to come in and squash my bugs for me.  I mean, I am a stay at home dad, I feel like I should 'have' this.  Anyways, I need help.  I submit. 

Finally, the last piece of this puzzle is the protocol.  Do I clean the house for this dude?  I mean, our house isn't messy, like stupid messy, but it could use a once over.  I usually do pick up the house once a day, but homer is supposed to come over early and I don't know if want to clean tonight (actually I do know and I don't want to).  So what is the protocol exactly?  Clean for the dude that comes over to spray for bugs or do some other stupid thing in the house or what?  I usually have in the past, but I tired from the weekend, tired from figthing the ants and tired of cleaning--at least for the night.  (I could write this though)

Special Thanks to Assistant Editor:

Carrie from OurCrookedTree  

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Mr. Mom's Day? | Print |  E-mail
Written by Joeprah   
 
on Saturday May 10, 2008
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Mr. MomAs I went out shopping for gifts for my wife and both of our mothers, I began to notice how society markets gifts for moms.  Really what started it all was that I was having a hard time finding the right card for my wife because a good majority of cards are designed with the traditional roles of men and women in mind.  Now, an aside on buying cards, I hate buying cards and I think they are a scam by the 'man' to get us to spend money on something we don't need.  Its like the card guys are saying, "Dude, you got nothin'.  Here take this gem I made with you in mind, give it to your special someone and your pain will be no more, but, dude that'll be $4.50--remember to pay me."  I actually like giving the opposite card to people.  For instance, it's your 40th birthday, how about a St. Patty's Day card?  Just got married?  How about a gag birthday card with George W. in drag?  The anticipation is greater when people know they are getting a card I picked out.  Back to the topic at hand, the Mother's Day problem I was having with the cards.  I mean the cards are all like, "Thanks for all that you do," and pictured on the card there is some lady in a kitchen with four kids throwing mashed potatoes at each other while a cat is on fire off in the distance. I know, I know there are a lot of moms kickin' it that way and I am savvy, but the only thing is--that lady in the kitchen is me.  I can literally make an argument, based on stereotypes, that Sunday should be my day off.  So here is a list of all the things that the traditional mom does according to all the cards I have seen over the course of the last 4-5 days compared with my day to day responsibilities:  

 

Traditional Mom 

 My Responsibilites

  • dishes
  • laundry
  • taking care of the kids
  • sewing
  • baking
  • mopping
  • vacuuming
  • dusting
  • lighting cats on fire
  • stopping potato fights
  • dealing with snoring spouses
  • cleaning toilets
  • cooking
  • keeping hair in curlers constantly
  •  dishes
  • laundry (with some help)
  • taking care of the kids (I get help)
  • sewing (yep, I can do buttons and patches)
  • baking (alright, we both do)
  • mopping
  • vacuuming
  • snoring
  • cleaning toilets
  • litter box
  • taking out the trash
  • shoveling snow
  • mowing the lawn
  • yard work
  • cooking (mostly me)
  • feeding the cat

 As you can see, my list is dominant.  A stay at home dad not only does all the typical mommy like things in the house, but they also mow the lawn and take out the trash--at least in our house.  My argument is this, since I do the mommish stuff shouldn't I be getting the day off on Sunday?  And my wife, who actually leaves her shoes all over the house and is horrible at optimizing the dishwasher, should be waiting until June for her day?  I mean, at least according to 'the man' who pumps out the greeting cards that litter grocery stores, local pharmacies, Targets and Hallmark stores. 

Also, another aside, this time about these "hallmark holidays."  These holidays, like Valentines Day and Mother's Day and such, are just ways for stores to get some sales during slower months of the year, right?  Seriously, do we need holidays to remember those folks we see everyday or at least more often than most folks?  I don't need a holiday to remind me that I love my wife and to treat her right, however, I think trashmen are often taken for granted.  I leave my trash unorganized and just falling all over the place.  These guys got their work cut out for them when they get to my house.  No free lunch here.  It might be an old couch one week and the next like 12 bags of leaves and a pile of warped wood.  Other folks have these sparkling clean trash cans and these guys only throw out or put stuff into their trash cans if it is in a bag...not me.  Chick-Fil-A cups, McDonalds Toys, newspapers, and much much worse are just loosely swimming in the can.  Poor trash dude.  Why not have a national holiday for folks, like the trashmen, that provide us with a service?  Trashman Day, Police Man Day, Firemen Day, Walmart Greeter Guy Day and so on.  No corny cards, no stupid lame gifts--just a "thank you." 

I guess what I am saying is I take of the motherly responsibilities in our house and my wife does the guy stuff.   I had quite a few people wish me "Happy Mother's Day" which kinda got me to thinking--should SAHDs get a separate day? should we share some of the Mother's Day hype somehow? or am I just confused?

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Joeprah Who is Joeprah?  I am a stay at home dad to three daughters.  I have an amazing wife, and under the direction and encouragement of close friends, I started this site over a year ago.  You can follow me at The Examiner.com, Twitter, Stumble Upon and Cre8BuzzRead more...

 

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