Comments for It's Cool to Be a Pregnant Teen at http://joeprah.com , comment 1 to 28 out of 20 comments http://joeprah.com Fri, 19 Mar 2010 03:04:00 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.3 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2409 hi joe, so agree with you. so messed up how some teens out here are pacting TO GET pregnant. just unreal. and sad. i tried to watch that Juno video, but i ended up just shutting it off and returning it to the video store without seeing more than about the first 3o minutes. you are an awesome role model to your daughters. good job dad, kathleen :) - so grateful to be Mormon Wed, 23 Jul 2008 04:20:19 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2317 What's the abortion rate in Sweden? Will there ever be something in the media where the parents were not happy about the pregnancy? I mean, "brings them together"? Wtf? Since when? I thought it was usually more like, "Brings them onto their own pregnant hineys looking for a new place to live." Tsk. And I just have to comment on one of the comments about Juno- "and it was about this girl getting put into this CRAPPY situation"-- getting put? Seriously? Did she get raped? And no, it definitely wasn't a realistic portrayal of teen pregnancy either. She didn't get kicked out of her school. They didn't talk about any of the downsides, really, aside from for comedy bits. And the parents' reaction to the boyfriend? Those parents must have been taking tons of valium. As I sift through your comments, I guess I'm from a different world. lol I'm from the world where we had VERY explicit sex ed starting in grade 7. People did have sex, but most were a little more careful than the statistical average. A few years ago, they polled teens in the US and something like 3/4 of them thought there was a cure for AIDS. That's when you know your system is failing. Yes, be there for your kids when they're in trouble, but hold them accountable for their actions. Accidents don't "just happen". You have to have unprotected sex first. Condoms break? That's why you're supposed to have a back-up method. Take responsibility. We're not "victims" of pregnancy here, especially not at a time when fertility is going down the sewer. Come on. Dads need to teach their daughters to respect themselves and to expect respect from any guy who goes near them. That's where it starts, imo. - prin Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:50:54 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2281 Joe, you knows I love yah, right? Okay. Maybe our rates are so high, and countries like Sweden's are so low, because maybe in Sweden they don't blame media for their problem. Disney making a teen pregnancy movie as stupid, but at least they were willing to say, Hey! Our #1 teen got knocked up, and we're talking about it. They talked about it in the WRONG way, but at least they didn't sweep it under the rug. Juno was a beautiful movie....FOR ADULTS. It by no means glorified teen pregnancy. To blame a bunch of kids trying to get pregnant on a movie not made for them, not rated for them to be able to see, is silly. (I'm not calling you silly, I'm calling the concept silly) Teens getting pregnant because they want unconditional love has NOTHING to do with movies, it has to do with upbringing. My mother was born to an 18 year old woman in 1951 who just didn't get any love at home. Juno wasn't out then, and I think Jamie Lynn's parents hadn't even been born yet, either. We live in a society where it is still taboo to talk about sex with our kids. My sister in law has to have me have the sex talk with her teenaged son, because she CANNOT do it. My 8 year old knows more about sex than my 16 year old nephew. We have a responsibility to really, thoroughly explain sex and urges and feelings with out kids, not the schools, not the neighborhood kids, US. They are OUR kids and they are biologically driven to reproduce. We have to guide them. Those children who are searching for anything to give them unconditional love DON'T HAVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Taking a movie off the shelf doens't help that; taking them to McDonald's for a milk shake and a heart to heart does. It takes a village to raise a child, after all. Maybe if we stopped pointing fingers and instead used them to pat the head of the screwed up teenager down the street, that kid wouldn't need to find love elsewhere. And maybe if an adult actually looked after those kids, they wouldn't have the time to have sex with homeless people. Dude, none of this is directed at you. it's just directed out there, you know? I have REALLY strong feelings on the subject (duh) - Mr Lady Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:54:59 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2268 I have to say that these shows [i]should [/i]be used as talking points for parents and their kids--not just their daughters, about sex, and the consequences that may occur. Now, I'm not a parent, but I just got out of being a teenager. I didn't get pregnant before graduation, or before turning 20, but I did make some pretty dumb choices because of the lack of information I had. Schools don't teach sex ed where I live, and my parents never talked to me about being safe--they only said "wait." When sex was brought up on TV, the channel was changed. Many homes in America are like this--parents think that talking to their kids about sex is like giving them permission to do so, at least that's how my parents felt, and a lot of the parents I've talked to on this subject feel. I have a Professor, who is an expert in adolescent psychology, has a syndicated newspaper column, has written a few best-sellers, and even is a expert on one of those Supernanny or Nanny 911 shows. He was part of a group of researchers who went to Europe (where teen pregnancy is WAY lower than here), and talked to teenagers themselves about the subject. Those teenagers said that their parents always talked with them about sex, and told them that if they were going to have sex before they got married, that they should use protection, and have it be with someone they love. Condoms are easily accessible to teenagers, and there is no shame put on them for buying them. Turns out that condom commercials are on all day in Europe, and that if a child asks something about sex, most parents answer in terms the child will understand. Schools teach about sex from an early age considering the age of the child, and teaching them in a way they'll understand. And what they are taught isn't decided by politicians, but by scientists. I personally think that maybe we should follow suit over here. I know that maybe I would have made better choices as a teen, and many so many people I know wouldn't have had kids before graduation. Just my 2 cents. - Becky Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:35:43 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2265 Ok I haven't seen Juno, so I won't comment on that one. I have been watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager and I think you're way off base. This girl had sex one time, didn't even enjoy it, and found herself pregnant. She's trying to figure out how to tell her parents, and has only told her 2 best friends. She is not more popular due to being pregnant; nobody even knows that she is. There are rumors that she had sex, but not about anything else. The Christian part of the show involves another family entirely. That girl has a purity ring and has vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. This girl is a cheerleader and extremely popular. The 2 families have no real interaction with each other. It's not popularizing teen pregnancy (to me) but showing how things are in reality. Accidents happen and it's something we need to be prepared for. I can't force my 16 yr. old to remain a virgin until marriage. That's a choice he has to make for himself. All I can do, and have done repeatedly, is stress the importance of waiting and giving that gift to the person you'll be with forever. I can speak from experience at being an 18 yr. old who got pregnant by accident right out of high school. I can tell him all the emotions and stress that that causes, but I can't lock his penis in his pants for him. He's got to make his own decisions and as his parent I have to stand by him. Anyway, I'd watch the show with an open mind before continuing to think of it glamourizing teen pregnancy. It may just change your mind. - Smoochiefrog Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:29:54 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2262 ohh dang joe I loved both of these shows! Thank GOD I already made it through my teenage years without getting pregnant.... lol - Tracey!! Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:03:46 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2261 Hey Joe...prah. I'm new here but wanted to express my feelings on this. I have 3 daughters, and spend a great deal of my energy raising them "right". I guess everyone has a different view of what is right or not, but we try to stick to a more old fashioned approach. Polite, modest, considerate, appreciative, etc. My girls are still young (9, 8, 5), but I am already telling them I don't plan on worrying about if they are going to like me or not when they are teenagers. They will not have a My Space or Facebook page, they will not have internet in their bedrooms, and we will be staying involved in their lives and making sure they are staying on the right track. Having said all of this...children who have involved parents realistically should be able to see movies and not have it change their values or morals. My husband and I loved "Juno". We found it funny, and never once while watching it did I think, "Well...this is going to get girls pregnant all over the place!" Think about all of the shows and movies out there...my girls watch "Harry Potter" but they don't practice magic. Movies are supposed to be entertaining, and that's all. They aren't supposed to be used as a reference on how to live our lives. Thanks for putting a good thinking post out there! - Jenny Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:35:19 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2260 p.s. Even better, imagine _government funded_ birth control! I am pretty sure that might be what is helping those sexually active teens in Europe... - robin Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:03:33 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2259 p.s. Even better, imagine _government funded_ birth control! I am pretty sure that might be what is helping those sexually active teens in Europe... - robin Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:01:17 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2258 I would like to point out that I think one of the major sources of the problem of teen pregnancy in the US is the lack of support for birth control. Our government's over-zealous Christian values don't really help here. If there was funded support and encouragement for sex education that informs teens about birth control [all kinds -abstinance, yes, but also the pill and also condoms, etc], and maybe even made it _cool_, I feel certain this would help bring down the pregnancy numbers. - robin Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:54:28 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2231 as a mother of a boy and two girls, yes, I worry just as much about my son getting some girl pregnant as I do about my girls coming home pregnant, this is alarming. My children aren't even 5 and 3 yet, but things seem to happen so fast. I hear of kids, and that is exactly what they are KIDS, having sex before they are even "teens". I'm not saying that once you are a teen it is okay to have enage in sexual intercourse, not at all, I'm just saying that when did it become okay for kids to have sex?? I'm trying already to be open and honest with my children... I didn't have the openness in my house growing up... we just didn't talk about "those" sorts of things... but I want my kids to be able to feel free to ask me anything and talk to me about anything as well. I hope that this will help to make the years to come a lot easier and better for all of us in our family. good points about the movie and the tv series. I completely agree with you. thanks. - Jenn Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:22:06 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2230 Yeah, the whole Gloucester thing is disturbing to say the least. I had written about it on my blog too. My girls 9 and 11 are enjoying the Baby Borrowers. At least it gives more of a real life portrayal into having a kid. I don't know what they had to promise the parents to have them give up their baby for 3 days. I don't think I would have handed over one of mine. - ascapecodturns Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:11:31 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2229 Great post. I am glad to see that I am not alone in being troubled by this trend. As a parent to a 14 yr old girl, with 3 sisters coming up behind her, this is a constant topic on our minds. Working very hard, seemingly against the current, to teach her good decision making skills and morals for her own good. She's a bright kid and seems to be getting it but a lot can change with a teen over a few years. - weaselmomma Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:44:39 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2228 I believe that teenagers in general aren't wise enough to date without a guardian - period. There's no way you can keep every child monitored 24/7 though. I was a sexually active teen myself and only God's grace kept me from becoming pregnant I'm certain! I see unprotected teen sex as the most selfish and foolish things a teenager can do. That's what teens do a lot though - foolish things! It not only jeopardizes their health & financial future, but robs an innocent child of the chance to have a settled home life with a mother & a father who planned for them. I also don't agree with pouring a load of garbage into my kids heads in the form of movies in order to use it as a "lesson" or anything else. My children already know about these things from discussing it with them on our own I think most parents can do a pretty good job on their own. My theory on movie content is, if you put a little dog poop in the brownies the whole thing pretty much stinks. - Birdie Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:08:51 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2227 I believe that teenagers in general aren't wise enough to date without a guardian - period. There's no way you can keep every child monitored 24/7 though. I was a sexually active teen myself and only God's grace kept me from becoming pregnant I'm certain! I see unprotected teen sex as the most selfish and foolish things a teenager can do. That's what teens do a lot though - foolish things! It not only jeopardizes their health & financial future, but robs an innocent child of the chance to have a settled home life with a mother & a father who planned for them. I also don't agree with pouring a load of garbage into my kids heads in the form of movies in order to use it as a "lesson" or anything else. My children already know about these things from discussing it with them on our own I think most parents can do a pretty good job on their own. My theory on movie content is, if you put a little dog poop in the brownies the whole thing pretty much stinks. - Birdie Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:03:26 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2226 Cory, Cool. I am with you that we need to make sure this topic given the time it deserves. I think we are more on the same page since we agree that there is a problem. As for teaching in schools, I think that the safe sex teaching program needs to be a little more pro-active since the countries that have the lowest birth rates among teens seem to be instituting their education programs before the problems of teen pregnancy rear their ugly heads. Absentee fathers--I am not sure what to say on that one, but I think that is almost another problem entirely. Once again, I think we are most likely on the same side here except I think Juno isn't a movie to look at as anything more than a well intentioned comedy. Besides that--rock on. - Joeprah Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:20:48 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2225 Okay. here's my assessment about the movie, based upon the clips I just saw here. It looks to me like the kind of upbeat story that might lead a girl to think "well, maybe, if I did get pregnant, it wouldn't be all that bad." And of course this would lead to a more relaxed idea about having sex in the first place. Maybe I'm nuts but I can see the straight line there. I for one am not for glamorizing this crisis in any way. I don't care how uplifting or self-esteem-raising it might be, or whether or not you can take your daughters to see it and discuss it with them. I tell my daughters all the time: I love you, and I there is nothing you can do to make me not love you. But I will tell you when I think you're making a big mistake, and will warn you plainly. I will also not be happy if you end up ruining your life because of one stupid decision, and will see to it that you do what is right to rectify it, rather than screw up someone else's life for your convenience. - jt12blk Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:19:28 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2224 Perhaps "get into it" was too strong a phrase. Joeprah - I appreciate your thoughts. I'm not a dad, and I come from a single parent home, so take my comments for what they're worth. I have spent a lot of time working with kids, however, and I think that kids are smarter than we give them credit for. While it is true that Juno plays the role of a heroine, and children who come from damaged backgrounds might view her as someone to emulate, I think that most kids can see for themselves that teenage pregnancy is not a situation that they want to get themselves into. I still maintain that the movie shows the consequences of teenage pregnancy just as much as it shows the humorous and happy parts. Now, I didn't show up here trying to start a fight. I'm sorry if my words came across as a little brusque, perhaps even offensive. Saying that there would be no absentee fathers if safe sex and abstinence were taught in schools doesn't hold up under scrutiny. There are plenty of absentee fathers who waited until their adult years to have kids - they are absentee in the fact that they are gone all of the time because of work. I'm a strong proponent for chastity before marriage, however since President Bush instituted his "abstinence only" funding for sex education, teenage pregnancy rates have begun rising again. What's the answer? Obviously it's a little more complex than any sort of pat answer can deal with. Discussion is in order. Thanks for the post and the enlightenment, Joeprah! Again, I showed up to discuss, not to start a fight. - cory huff Mon, 07 Jul 2008 23:59:12 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2223 Hey Cory, I think the movie was very entertaining and if you look past the story line to the windfall of an obviously charismatic lead character who is a pregnant teen and then reexamine the fact that teens seldom put their children up for adoption then you can see the movie as no more than a well written comedy with little basis in reality. I enjoyed the movie very much and I can see it for what it is, but why should we be making pregnant teenagers heroines? How does this impact the fragile psyche of those girls who aren't stable households? If you think this movie shows the consequences of teen pregnancy I think you and I aren't seeing eye to eye. This was a comedy. A comedy. It wasn't a how-to movie showing parents the realities of teen pregnancies. I am very sorry but I strongly disagree with your point of view. Look at the statistics. Look at what likely lays ahead for those girls who are unfortunate enough to have children in their teenage years. Juno is a feel good comedy and not a moral tale of any kind. If you want to "get into it" with me you need to come stronger that that. Seriously... As for absentee fathers...dude, there would be no absentee fathers if safe sex and abstinence were taught better in the school. Kids have no respect for the gravity of the situation they deal with--both teen boys and girls. Respectfully, Joeprah - Joeprah Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:59:48 +0100 http://joeprah.com/editorials/546-its-cool-to-be-a-pregnant-teen.html#comment-2222 Thump all the Bibles you want, I'm good with it. We are in moral decay and this is part and parcel with it. I would like to see more advertisement and promotion of the baby borrowers show. I saw that the other day and was delighted to see these teens get a raw, immersive feel for what it really is like to care for a baby, and how much it can differ from the idealized, sterilized impression that is marketed by the media. - jt12blk Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:13:58 +0100