Comments for Dad Deal with Miscarriage Too at http://joeprah.com , comment 1 to 26 out of 20 comments http://joeprah.com Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:27:06 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.3 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-3271 well me and my fiance her being 19, me being 20. we have just recently had our first miscarriage, and im confused, or stuck...i cried a few times, but i feel angry! i blame myself, i wish i could have done more! he was our first boy, she was 5 months in till she woke up on a wednesday morning to find out she was bleeding heavily. I know im quite young to be a dad, she likes to see me as her support wall..but at the moment im keeping it all inside, i cant speak to my parents, i dont know how to go talking to my partner :/ i dont want to let my little man down by not grieving...were giving each other some space at the moment to breathe. I love her, and i want to do something so we always remember our little boy...so i got thinking a flower, keep it alive, so i can look at it each and everyday and remind myself that was our little boy who got taken from us, but he will always be in my heart. - JasonB Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:01:32 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-3260 It's not so easy to bring a very good custom written essay, especially if you are occupied. I advise you to define buy an essay and to be free from disbelief that your work will be done by professionals - Catherin19 Tue, 02 Feb 2010 01:39:32 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-3146 My wife and I are 26 and just tried having a baby for the first time. She got pregnant right away and everything was great. She found out at her 11 week appt. that there was no heartbeat. The worst part was that she went straight from her appt. to a business flight across the country. As I'm writing this, she's still in Florida and I'm in Illinois. I never in a million years would make a comment on a website like this, but reading this entry and other entries online, it made me realize I do need to write down my thoughts and feelings. Since I was little I've wanted nothing more than to be a dad. Kids envisioned driving sports cars and having money and what not, I envisioned playing catch in the back yard with my child while my wife sat on a swing. When we found out that we were pregnant, I was so excited and I'm sure that my wife doesn't know how excited I was. After just announcing to our friends this week that we were pregnant, two days later we found out there was no heartbeat. As your entry says, I felt helpless. What can I do? How do I fix it? There's no way to get a heartbeat back? I instantly felt horrible for my wife, who is the most amazing person on the planet, and I've never felt worse for someone as I do right now, especially when I haven't seen her since this happened! I know that emotionally she is drained and physically is going to be very soon. At first I was devastated. I talked to my best friend who teaches religion and he really made me feel better about the situation. He told me that God's will be accomplished and to put it in God's hands. Talking to him and all the people that we have around us made me realize, if God wants us to have a child, it will happen. I know I'm just rambling, but I absolutely hate talking on the phone and this is letting some of my emotions out. I love my wife to death and if you're reading this, say a little prayer for her to get through this, and home safe me to as soon as possible. Thanks for this entry as it's going to make me a better person, husband, and couple. I love you babe. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13 - Coach D Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:05:21 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2945 Sometimes we actually overlooked that guys do feel depressed and sad too. They're just humans you know. I hope you and your wife will soon recover from this and good luck if you chose to have another baby. Thanks for sharing your sentiments and insights here. By the way, these best gifts that you could give your better half might interest you too. Thanks and have a nice and fulfilling day. - Jean Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:52:37 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2933 This was the hardest entry I have ever had to read. It was emotional and sad. It makes me never want to go through it. I have seen other dad's go through it too but this really made me think. I do hope things are going better now. Even something like this would take time to heal. - Dad Blog Wed, 22 Jul 2009 18:50:03 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2932 I just wanted to say thanks too, Joe and to say I'm very sorry for your loss. My wife and I have two kids who are already 8 and 10 and until recently hadn't planned to have anymore. In fact I was dead against it, but I changed my mind about 6 months ago. About three weeks ago we found out we were pregnant, and I say "we" because for our first two and for this one it was totally a collective endeavour. Then a few days ago my wife miscarried at 7 weeks. She's still dealing with the physical pain of a laprascopy to rule out ectopic pregnancy (fortunately negative) and the emotional pain of the confirmed miscarriage. I've been a bit numb over the past few days but tonight my grief kicked in, triggered by my Dad who lectured me on "being there for my wife". I get that it's very hard for Mums, both physically and emotionally, but I was desperate for help about how it feels to be a Dad. I know the stats, and we were cautious so early in the pregnancy, but late last week I started dreaming and picked out some names. I read your article with tears streaming down my face and for the first time I was able just to grieve for the loss of our baby without feeling angry at my Dad, or guilty that in my grief I wasn't tending to hers. We're so blessed with our two children and we're continuing to pray for the soul of our little one, but your post really helped my feel that I wasn't alone. To the other Dads out there, I can only offer the same advice, while being there for your family is important, don't forget to let yourself grieve too. I know I'll never be the same again, and I'll always remember the brief joy that the promise of a new life brings. We don't know if we'll try again, but seeing the support on your site, I feel more positive about the prospect. Many thanks. - Anton Wed, 22 Jul 2009 03:49:52 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2930 I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is good to hear the feelings and emotions from the male perspective. I can only imagine how hard it has hit both you and your wife. Hang in there! - Gareth Sat, 18 Jul 2009 21:19:33 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2929 I hope you're doing alright. *hugs* - prin Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:18:30 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2927 hi sorry for your loss,since i had a miscarrage last year its hard to forget but i keep telling myself that GOD has a purpose for everything.just hang in there he will give you your blessing - selina Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:06:07 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2917 Thanks Rachel. I appreciate your thoughts. I just needed to get that out there.Thanks Rachel. I appreciate your thoughts. I just needed to get that out there. - Joeprah Wed, 03 Jun 2009 02:50:54 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2916 Joe, I'm so glad you wrote this. My heart goes out to you and your wife. this tore at my heart and wrenched my gut and yet you handled the telling of it so wonderfully. Thank you for sharing the 'man-spective' it is so needed. - rachel - A Southern Fairytale Mon, 01 Jun 2009 19:43:45 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2913 Thanks so much Prin, it was a tough one to write about for sure, but I do hope it helps others who haven't talked about their own ordeals. - Joeprah Tue, 26 May 2009 16:35:05 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2909 I'm so sorry, Joeprah. :( From my point of view, this post took so much courage to write. I am so sorry you and your wife had to go through something so terrible. Hopefully your experience will help a lot of couples who are dealing with it. *hugs* - prin Mon, 18 May 2009 19:49:29 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2908 Joe, I'm sorry about your loss. Although, I have not experienced it myself. My wife and I have had a couple of scares. - Mocha Dad Wed, 13 May 2009 14:45:54 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2907 Your honesty will keep me coming back. We also suffered a miscarriage- our first pregnancy. My husband still gets choked up when we talk about it. Thankfully, we have the kind of home where we can (and do) talk about "Bunny." It's good to hear the perspective of other dads. - Eternal Lizdom Fri, 08 May 2009 10:30:45 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2904 Thank you for pouring out what is in your heart into your posting. The dads almost always get overlooked. And as a woman who has miscarried, I understand how horrific that night was for you both. You never forget although you eventually do heal. Even now, with my gorgeous 2.5 month old son next to me, I know I'll never forget "the one that got away". - Kay Tue, 05 May 2009 13:54:19 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2902 Been there and it totally sucks. I felt totally helpless. There was really nothing you could do. Thanks for putting this out there. Super honest post. - Out-Numbered Sun, 03 May 2009 01:21:00 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2901 Thanks for all the kind words. This is something I have been meaning to write about for a long time and trust me--my wife was hit the hardest with this, but for me it was like a sucker punch three months or so later. - Joeprah Sat, 02 May 2009 16:29:26 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2897 I have to think--and I'm not talking from experience, just from worthless intuition--that as valid and real as these feelings are for you, it's much worse for the woman. The mother lives with the baby when she sleeps, when she eats, when she takes a shower, and when the sudden emptiness attacks her like you described. I'm not arguing with what you're saying. Your point is that dads deal with miscarriage too, not that it's not worse for mothers. I'm just thinking out loud with my keyboard. And I'm sorry you and she had to go through this horrible experience. And I'm glad it seems to have made you stronger. - OM Sat, 25 Apr 2009 19:37:10 +0100 http://joeprah.com/component/content/60-parenting/603-dad-deal-with-miscarriage-too.html#comment-2896 Omg Joe I this is so sad! I didn't know that your family went through this and I'm really sorry that you had to :( On a positive note...very nicely written, and I'm sure it will help families going through similar situations. - Tracey Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:12:10 +0100