Mr. Mom's Day?

Rants

Friday, May 09 2008 14:43 Written by Joeprah

As I went out shopping for gifts for my wife and both of our mothers, I began to notice how society markets gifts for moms.  Really what started it all was that I was having a hard time finding the right card for my wife because a good majority of cards are designed with the traditional roles of men and women in mind.  Now, an aside on buying cards, I hate buying cards and I think

they are a scam by the 'man' to get us to spend money on something we don't need.  Its like the card guys are saying, "Dude, you got nothin'.  Here take this gem I made with you in mind, give it to your special someone and your pain will be no more, but, dude that'll be $4.50--remember to pay me."  I actually like giving the opposite card to people.  For instance, it's your 40th birthday, how about a St. Patty's Day card?  Just got married?  How about a gag birthday card with George W. in drag?  The anticipation is greater when people know they are getting a card I picked out.  Back to the topic at hand, the Mother's Day problem I was having with the cards.  I mean the cards are all like, "Thanks for all that you do," and pictured on the card there is some lady in a kitchen with four kids throwing mashed potatoes at each other while a cat is on fire off in the distance. I know, I know there are a lot of moms kickin' it that way and I am savvy, but the only thing is--that lady in the kitchen is me.  I can literally make an argument, based on stereotypes, that Sunday should be my day off.  So here is a list of all the things that the traditional mom does according to all the cards I have seen over the course of the last 4-5 days compared with my day to day responsibilities:  

 As you can see, my list is dominant.  A stay at home dad not only does all the typical mommy like things in the house, but they also mow the lawn and take out the trash--at least in our house.  My argument is this, since I do the mommish stuff shouldn't I be getting the day off on Sunday?  And my wife, who actually leaves her shoes all over the house and is horrible at optimizing the dishwasher, should be waiting until June for her day?  I mean, at least according to 'the man' who pumps out the greeting cards that litter grocery stores, local pharmacies, Targets and Hallmark stores. 

Also, another aside, this time about these "hallmark holidays."  These holidays, like Valentines Day and Mother's Day and such, are just ways for stores to get some sales during slower months of the year, right?  Seriously, do we need holidays to remember those folks we see everyday or at least more often than most folks?  I don't need a holiday to remind me that I love my wife and to treat her right, however, I think trashmen are often taken for granted.  I leave my trash unorganized and just falling all over the place.  These guys got their work cut out for them when they get to my house.  No free lunch here.  It might be an old couch one week and the next like 12 bags of leaves and a pile of warped wood.  Other folks have these sparkling clean trash cans and these guys only throw out or put stuff into their trash cans if it is in a bag...not me.  Chick-Fil-A cups, McDonalds Toys, newspapers, and much much worse are just loosely swimming in the can.  Poor trash dude.  Why not have a national holiday for folks, like the trashmen, that provide us with a service?  Trashman Day, Police Man Day, Firemen Day, Walmart Greeter Guy Day and so on.  No corny cards, no stupid lame gifts--just a "thank you." 

I guess what I am saying is I take of the motherly responsibilities in our house and my wife does the guy stuff.   I had quite a few people wish me "Happy Mother's Day" which kinda got me to thinking--should SAHDs get a separate day? should we share some of the Mother's Day hype somehow? or am I just confused?

Comments (18)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

...
written by Jeremy, May 13, 2008

My wife and I "argue" all the time about "optimizing the dishwasher." One of the differences in having me home, doing all of the stuff you listed too, is that I am all about maximizing efficiency and productivity. Lori is all about creative stuff and does 1/2 loads of dishes and laundry, the latter of which drives me NUTS! I don't think we need a Mr. Mom's Day though.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Joeprah, May 13, 2008

Yeah, but should SAHDs get some of the moms day hype or what?

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Zoeyjane, May 13, 2008

I grew up with a single dad. So he got mother's and father's day cards, home made. I'm totally with ya on the 'hallmark holidays' thoughts - this is the reason I boycott them, for the most part. Plus, you know, I'd just like presents everyday, so why wait every 2.5 months!

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Joeprah, May 13, 2008

Zoey that's awesome! It's cool to see that you hooked him up like that. It sounds like you turned out ok too. Go dad! Yeah, Hallmark holidays are foshizzle the lamest.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by soge shirts, May 13, 2008

Dude another top notch blog. Stay at home dads that do all those responsibilities definitely deserve some shout outs. Agree with you big time on the "I got nothing" for greeting cards and I hate hallmark holidays.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by hottnanny, May 13, 2008

I love your interpretation of the greeting cards. It's so true. My favorite Mother's Day card find to date:
Front of card: "Motherhood."
Inside: "Nature's way of saying... 'So ya like sex, do ya?'"

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Darren, May 13, 2008

I haven't done a scientific study, but sometimes it seems to me that cards for wives and mothers are more expensive than other cards. I'd like Hallmark to investigate that.

This could get us in trouble, but I agree that a lot of stay-at-home Dads do more than stay-at-home Moms when you factor in the outside stuff that Dads usually do. I'm sure there are lots of exceptions, but I'm just sayin'.

As for your question, I don't think SAHD's need a special day. But maybe a stay-at-home parent's day wouldn't be a bad idea. Should we push for national recognition?

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Big Bad Daddy, May 13, 2008

Greeting Card Conspiracy? Don't get me started. Screw Hallmark! Fight The Power! I've got a computer, photoshop, a printer, and mean creative streak, what do I need Hallmark for? Plus My girls generate more "Special Occasion Cards" than there are Holidays and I think are probably somewhat responsible for the depletion of the rainforest, although I have instated a "You must draw on both sides of the paper", rule.

Now, about the Mothers Day/SAHD thing, I still think even though I do most of the "Suzie Homemaker" crap that doesn't make me a Mother. There's the whole birthing thing, which I'm not about to bogart, and there's a million other things that make a Mother a "Mother". Menial Labour does not a Mother make.

I do make the Mother of all Nachos though....

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by BossSanders, May 14, 2008

First off, I just logged into your site 3 times bc it kept lying to me, telling me I wasn't signed on. lol. And, when I gave up to just leave a random comment, it told me I was signed in. Figures. I need a nap.

And, while I wholeheartedly AGREE with you about not buying Hallmark or other cards of the such (I make my own...see my latest blog post) - I think your wife still deserves Mother's day...even if you do most of the housekeeping.

I know how much you hate unfair labels, so ponder this for a moment: Since when are mother's reduced to housework and baking? I know that the typical "icons" and images of moms have them doing such things...but still. And, you do get a SAHD day...Father's Day. I don't get a SAHM day AND Mother's day. So, those are my thoughts Hehe!

And, I suck at the dishwasher. Outright suck. I put them in all wrong and they go flying. I grew up washing dishes by hand...which takes FOREVER...

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Audubon Ron, May 14, 2008

Dude, you’re a riot. Thanks to Huckdoll for spreading your funny.

I hate cards. In time, if you already haven’t you’ll learn I’m not right. One of the NOT RIGHT things I do is save Christmas cards. On the next Christmas I mail the card back to the sender with a note scribbled in side. “Another year, hope you got everything you wanted last year.”

I have dreamed, often, that I was like Solomon, 700 wives and 300 concubines. WHOA, “I’m in heaven, I’m in heaven.” Then, I jolt into reality how much crap I’d be in for not keeping up with all those birthday and anniversary cards. Then I start dreaming about fishing rods.

No mom’s day hype man, opt for the G Loomis fishing rod. GO FOR THE ROD.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Corey~ Living and Loving, May 14, 2008

Very interesting post Joe. Made me think. After much consideration, I think that instead of stay at home dads getting some of the mother's day love....we should all just work on dispelling the ignorance that places such labels on men and women.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Hockeyman, May 14, 2008

Dad's are totally hosed in the mother's day and father's day comparison. I hate all Hallmark holidays. Just plain stupid setups for men to fail miserably no matter what we assume is in our ladies heads...

So I guess you don't wear curlers all day? That totally just blew away my mental image of you vacuuming and/or cooking all day!

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Just Jamie, May 14, 2008

Okay, fine. You win. I'll give you my spa gift certificate you whiner. Spa days all around. But none of that back waxing and manly single-razor "shave and a haircut" crap. I'm talking bikini wax for YOU and perhaps a glossy mani/pedi. Afterall, you do sew.

Enjoy!

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Mama Bear, May 14, 2008

:roll
Okay add another holiday...NO!
Do you deserve some of the Mom recognition, yep. And that dearest would be betwixt you and that fantastic gal you married.
I hate the hype over these things, and store bought cards are the worst. All I want from the day is nice time with my family.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Sadia, May 14, 2008

So the question is really whether Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day are gender or role-based. Right? If role-based, then absolutely Mothers' Day should celebrate SAHDs. And single Dads. If it's based purely on anatomy, then how do same-gender parents do it? Is it like Christmas, where there's mutual appreciating and everyone gets stressed out by the celebrations?

My husband and I divvy up the family duties pretty evenly, and not all that much along gender lines, but I get kudos on Mothers' Day, and he on Fathers'. Maybe we just need a Parents' day.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by Momo Fali, May 16, 2008

Unless you can push a seven-pounder out of your testicles, you'd better just clam up and give Mom some props. How do you say it? Oh yes...respect.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by prin, May 16, 2008

As the girl who just slipped out unnoticed and was left behind at the ripe ol' age of two, I'll gladly say:

Happy Mother's Day, Joeprah.

Because sometimes, dads are moms, too.

• 
• +0
• 
• 

...
written by MileHighDad, May 16, 2008

Yo Joe, :roll
Assistant ED MHD here.
On http://joeprah.com/content/view/238/73/ the left list starts one cell down from the right list in your comaparison, no big deal for the mortal man, but you my friend, are no...
I hate it when the "peanut gallery" publicly points out inconsistencies to me; but you asked and for that and I commend you for it.
Link love, gotta dig it coming from the Joeprah Man!

On a guest Blog kind of note: We got a Garage Sale this weekend starting Fri AM where we will be hopefully unloading a ton of tot togs and toys, I am, oh so looking forward to Manic Monday.
Say what?? Oh yea, I think I remember that song... Wasn't that those tiger chicks? eeegghhh/buzzz.
Alex, can I have the Bengals for 100?
Sorry bout dat...
-MHD
http://www.milehighdad.com

• 
• +0
• 
• 

Name

Email

Website

Comment

smaller | bigger

Subscribe via email (registered users only)

Add Comment